Forever and Always
by Coesa Rudo
Summary: *AU Divergent: No War/Epilogue* This is an AU of my story Always (the story of Tris and Four's daughter, Nikki) "What is your name?" I ask. "Jax, what is yours?" I smile, "Nicola, but I go by Nikki." Jax winks, "I like Nicola." I blush and bite my lip, I look him over and my heart stops. That dull red shirt, his relaxed easy smile, those peaceful warm chocolate eyes. Jax is Amity.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this is a oneshot, unless of course you guys want more. If you do, then I will write a full fic for this. But I have had a few people ask for Nikki to be in Dauntless so here it is! I hope you all enjoy! This is my special gift to you all for being such amazing readers and friends, everyone is so sweet and nice and I really hope you guys like this!**

**This is an AU of Divergent, no war, Nikki's life in Dauntless. Here we are. Review because that will determine if I want to make this an entire story. **

**I don't own Divergent or it's characters...except these OC are mine. **

_**So keep in mind that they never knew that Tobias wasn't an actual Divergent since they don't discover that until Allegiant. **_

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><p><strong>Nicola POV <strong>

**Age: 15**

I turn the corner and walk to class with Willow, who is currently screaming loudly in my ear about the fight she had with her mother yesterday. I push past a few Erudite who slam into me with their shoulders, I fight the urge to make their eye match those ugly blue shirts. Willow snickers, "don't they know that you could easily knock them out, Nikki?"

I shrug, "I swear those Erudite know-it-alls are going to get me in trouble." Willow pulls me in a direction opposite of my class, "Willow, we have to get to class. You and I are going to get into serious trouble if we are late to class, again."

"Fine, we will go at lunch. I saw a boy staring at you last period. Stop being a pansycake and talk to him!"

"First of all, stop trying to make pansycake work. Uncle Uriah will not convince me to say it, I don't even know how he got you to start saying it, and you're his daughter. And, I'm not interested, Willow. Besides, if he found out my father was Four I bet he would never even glance at me anyway. Daddy is scary, people find out that Four and Tris are my parents and immediately show caution around me. Plus, I don't like anyone." I walk into class and set my things down on the table.

Willow bites her nails, "well you have to like someone, Nikki."

I sigh, and sit in my seat, Cam sits behind me, "good morning, Nicola. Is my girlfriend bothering you?"

"No, just being her usual self." I try to balance my pencil on the edge of my book and it falls down onto the floor. I reach over and grab it at the same time as someone else, a hand passes me my pencil, "thank..." I stare into a pair of chocolate brown eyes, "you." I manage to finish.

"Don't mention it." He smiles and shakes his head slightly, brushing the hair out of his eyes.

"What is your name?" I ask. Why am I asking? He has been in class with me for the past month since school started, and yet I have no idea what his name is.

"Jax, what is yours?"

"Nicola, but my friends call me Nikki."

"I like Nicola."

I blush and bite my lip, looking down. How come I didn't notice him before? I look over to see him still staring at me, I look him over and my heart stops.

Jax is Amity.

His shirt, while not the usual blinding yellow, it's dull red screams Amity. I sink into my seat and watch the teacher begin class. The whole time I steal quick glances at this boy, wondering how a girl of courage is supposed to be friends with a boy of peace. Let alone us having anything more.

Wait? What am I doing? All I did was say hello and get his name. He was just being Amity, kind and peaceful. There wasn't anything more to it. I bite my lip and pretend to pay attention to the teacher, which gets increasingly harder because I can feel those warm brown eyes staring at me. Finally, I give in and turn my head to see Jax's broad grin at me, I shyly look down and smile. A boy hasn't ever really caught my attention before, because all the boys in Dauntless are either much to humorous, it's as if they can't be serious. Or the boys are like Eric, they are too serious. Sadistic at some points, I just want a boy that is funny when it's the right time, but serious when things get hard. One who is sweet and kind, but strong and brave. Gentle and loving, yet concerned and honest. Someone like Daddy.

The bell rings and I take my time packing up, secretly hoping Jax will say something to me. Willow stands waiting for me, "hurry up. You are taking forever."

I look up, "just go to lunch with Cam and save me a seat, I need to take care of something."

Willow contemplates this, "okay, but if you aren't there in five I am dragging you to lunch." She turns without a second thought her blonde hair a blur. I kind of deliberately 'drop' my book. Jax picks it up and hands it to me again, "thank you, again." His hand brushes mine, and I feel my heartbeat in my whole body. Was this what it felt like when my parents met?

Just friends, I remind myself. Just friends.

"Don't mention it, Nicola."

I glance around to make sure no one is watching this exchange, it's kind of a taboo to speak to someone outside your faction, unless it's name calling. Which I don't do, mainly because my parents were from Abnegation and my Uncle is in Erudite. Although, those Erudites push my patience more often than not. Jax frowns, "you have beautiful eyes."

I blink a few times, "thank you." What is he doing? Flirting with me, knowing that I am Dauntless? I'm sure there is some kind of rule against this very conversation. Although, the gesture was sweet. "I should head to lunch, I don't want my friends to get worried."

"As do I. It was nice meeting you Nicola."

"It was nice to meet you too, Jax."

"The pleasure was all mine." He gives me this soft sweet smile, turns, and walks away.

I stand there, replaying what just happened, until Willow finds me and drags me to lunch.

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><p>Jax and Nicola. Nicola and Jax, I toss his name around my head as I sit at lunch with my friends. Willow shakes me, "huh?"<p>

"What is up with you? You have been spaced out since last period."

"Nothing, just tired."

"That's impossible, you were fine this morning."

"Willow just let it go," I snap.

Willow stares at me, "you have never, ever, snapped at me. What's going on?"

"Willow..." I warn and take a bite into my muffin.

"Nicola Beatrice, you are going to tell me what is going on. You are always nice, you are always calm. You just lost your cool, and I have known you since we were bouncing around in our mother's tummies."

I pull her to me and cover her ear so no one can try to decipher my words, "I met a boy."

Willow begins to let out a scream and I cover her mouth. She pries my hand free, "when? I have been with you since we got on the trains to get to school this morning."

"You know the boy who sat next to me?" I ask.

Willow closes her eyes, trying to recall who was next to me, "oh boy in red?"

"Jax, his name is Jax."

"Nikki, I don't think that's allowed."

"What?" I cross my arms, "I just said I met him. Not I like him."

Willow's jaw drops, "oh my, you like him!"

"If you don't keep it down, I will sew your lips shut myself."

Willow murmurs a sorry and looks across the tables to find where the Amity are usually singing and strumming a banjo or whatever it is they do over there, "that one?" She points to Jax.

I nod, Willow smiles, "he is cute."

"Willow, don't tell anyone."

"I would never tell anyone, Nikki. We are best friends."

I stay quiet for the rest of lunch, taking glances at Jax through out the time. As I walk through the halls to class, I try to remember if I have any other classes with Jax. I sit down on top of my desk and watch everyone fill in the classroom. I watch every Amity that steps through the door, after a few minutes I give up and rest my chin in my hand and kick my feet back and forth staring out the window.

"I hate this class."

I whip my head around to see Jax sitting down at the desk next to me, I smile, "yeah, it's awful."

Class begins, I slide into my desk and communicate with Jax through a serious of almost silent remarks in response to our teacher's lectures. My teacher appears out of nowhere, literally I have no idea where he came from. "If the two of you want to talk during class, you won't mind staying after school?"

"No sir," I frown. I am in so much trouble, Mom is going to be angry, Daddy won't be happy either. I slink further into my seat, everyone's eyes on me. Everyone is probably wondering what a girl from Dauntless is doing talking to a boy from Amity.

There goes my attempt and not breaking any social rules against fraternizing with other factions.

I stay silent for the rest of class.

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><p>Willow begins to drag me to the trains, "I have to stay after school."<p>

"Why, Nikki?"

"I have to stay for talking during class."

"With who?"

"Jax."

Willow smiles, "I will tell your parents you had something to take care of after school. No details, so you can deal with them asking about why you had to stay. Have fun." She hugs me and heads towards the tracks. I walk up the stairs and into class, where my teacher advises me to take a seat while he takes care of some business for a few minutes. I find Jax sitting there, with an open book.

"Hey, Jax."

"Hello, Nicola."

I put my feet up on the desk in front of me, "sorry, about getting us in trouble."

"It's fine, it's more interesting than being at home."

"What do you do in Amity anyway?"

Jax smiles, "we sing the whole way home, which is embarrassing because I don't sing very well. Then we hang out in the orchards, do our homework outside, go in for dinner, and just spend the evening doing anything from picking apples to playing games outside."

"Sounds boring." I wince as the words fly out my mouth, "sorry, that was offensive."

"No, it is fairly boring. What do you do in Dauntless?"

I break into a huge grin, "well, I go home, tell my parents about my day, then my friends and I go to the Pit and walk around, which is fun in itself. Sometimes we go zip-lining, and occasionally my Uncle Zeke and Uriah will let us into the training room, where the initiates usually are, and we shoot the guns in there."

"That sounds...exciting."

"It is fun and exciting."

Jax smiles at me but stays quiet for a while. "Wouldn't it be nice if we could have this conversation during school?"

"Yes, but that is a big 'if', I think that we might get into some type of trouble for speaking between factions."

Jax winks at me, "well you strike me as a rule breaker, Nicola."

I hardly ever break rules, especially big rules like this. The door opens and our teacher walks inside. I fight off a smile, did he just ask me to have a friendship regardless of our differences?

I look over and Jax gives me one last soul melting smile.

Maybe, it's okay for me to break a few rules.

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><p><strong>Review, tell me if you guys want more. I hope this is a good oneshot, I haven't ever written one before. So if you want more, I have more chapters written if, not then it's okay. I still hope you enjoyed it. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so I will make this a full fic, I got a good response and think it will be enough to hold up this story. Okay, here you are Chapter 2. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Kicking my feet from underneath me, Jax and I sit in silence, waiting for a brief moment of privacy, long enough to pass a note even a few words. I stare at the book below me, I will need to catch a train home, and come up with a valid excuse for my detention. If I say I have to stay for talking, Daddy will want to know who I was talking to. If I lie, he will surely find out and then Mom will have my head.

The teacher clears his throat and excuses us for the day, with a warning to keep our mouths shut during class and to pay attention.

I turn on my heel and walk out of the classroom, trying to keep my steps slow despite the growing panic at the thought of my punishment when I get home. I hear someone behind me and whip around, Jax puts his hands up in mock-surrender.

"Sorry, I was just asking if you could get home alright."

"I can take care of myself, " I snap, what does he think that because I am small like my mother, I can't get myself home?

"I never said you couldn't, I was being a gentleman and asking."

I feel warmth crawl onto my cheeks, "oh, well thank you then." I tilt my chin up, "besides, I'm Dauntless, I ought to be able to get myself home, don't you think?"

"Of course, never doubted it for a minute, Princess."

I flash him a glare, "princess?" What does that mean? Is he teasing me? Is he flirting? I wish I had paid more attention to the things Willow told me about boys and maybe I could make sense of this whole conversation. "I should go, do you have a way home?"

"I can walk."

I roll my eyes, typical Amity, "if you needed a ride, you could always take the train towards the gates." Why am I still here? I should be walking to the tracks, running along side the train, and formulating a plan to get out of being grounded in my room forever.

Jax smiles, "I don't think I can manage getting onto the train without killing myself."

"It's easy, I've been doing it since I was six or seven, at least."

Jax chews the inside of his cheek, thinking my offer over, part of me is wishing for him to agree the other half hoping he declines. "Okay, I seem to keep getting into trouble today, why not top it off with jumping onto a moving train...Show the way."

I tighten my bag around my shoulder and walk to the tracks outside school, Jax keeping in step with me. I look to my side and see the train roaring ahead, I break into a large grin, "okay, run along the train. Then grab onto the door and pull yourself in. Okay?"

Jax nods, I take a breath and break into a run as the train moves with me, I reach out and pull myself into the train, with ease. Jax, on the other hand, is grasping the edge and slams into the door, I run over and pull him into the train. He stares at me with wide eyes, I look over his hands which are scraped with blood and scars, "I'm sorry about your hands."

He shakes his head, "that was the most terrifying and amazing thing I have ever done."

"It is kind of incredible." I set my bag down and lean out the opening of the train, letting the wind blow my hair back and press my shirt back. I used to watch Daddy do this, every time we got onto the train, I never understood it until I was old enough to try it myself. It's the most freeing and gratifying feeling to have the wind wrap around me. I learned that if I close my eyes and clear my mind it feels like I'm flying.

I take a breath and step back, turning to Jax who smiles at me, "so how do I get off this thing?"

"You jump."

"I jump, you guys do that everyday?"

I nod, "it's the most Dauntless way to get off, don't you think?"

Jax laughs and swings his bag over his shoulder, "thank you."

"For what?"

"For showing me something new, making me do something incredible, out of the ordinary."

"Well, you are welcome."

"Allow me to return the favor?" He asks.

"How so?" The idea of spending more time with Jax has me crumbling mentally, I just met him today, and for some reason he really has captured my attention. I don't think I have ever had a friend like this before, at least I hope we are friends. I just need a friend, not a boyfriend. A few moments ago, my emotions were controlling my mind and I was thinking romantically. But, I shouldn't. Jax is Amity, and I am Dauntless. Our friendship isn't really even allowed, but I am willing to break that rule.

But if I even entertained the thought of dating Jax...I won't even entertain the thought. I don't really even know him, we spoke today, and we just hit it off. We just click, that's it. We click as friends, I turn my attention to Jax, who apparently has been speaking while I mentally debated myself on the status of our friendship.

"How about it then, Nicola?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Would you like to see the orchards in Amity?"

"I can't, I have to get home, Daddy is already going to be angry that I even had to stay late after school."

"It won't take long."

I bite my lip, "how long?"

"Five minutes at most."

I can afford five minutes, besides Mom is always saying that we have to understand other factions, I go to Abnegation every once and a while to visit my grandparents and going to the orchards is the same as that, right? "Alright, five minutes then I go home."

Jax smiles, "we need to get off near the gate then."

I toss my bag over my shoulder, "just jump and try to run or walk it off."

"When do I jump?"

"When I do." I watch the fields surrounding the gate go by in a blur, as we come up I leap out and trot for a few steps then slow into a casual walk. Jax on the other hand is wiping himself off and struggling to get to his feet. I shake my head, the Amity really aren't cut out for Dauntless. No wonder they don't switch to our faction.

I wait patiently while Jax catches up to me, "I think if I did that a few times, I would get the hang of it."

I shake my head at him, "try doing it everyday for a few weeks and you will get the hang of it."

We near the gate and I see the figures of two Dauntless guards standing by it, I swallow the lump that just appeared in my throat, please let the guards just allow us through without any questioning. Jax looks at me, "take my jacket."

"Why?"

"It's yellow and red, they won't question your faction. Put it on and don't look at them, they might figure out if you are from Dauntless if you look like your parents." He passes me his jacket.

I slip it onto my shoulders, it's much to big. The sleeves hang off my hands and the bottom of the jacket almost comes to my knees, and in the tall grass my legs are almost invisible. This is by far the most Dauntless and rebellious thing I have ever done.

I stand behind twisting a tall piece of grass between my fingers while Jax speaks to the guards, after a few moments he motions for me to follow him as the gates open. I catch up to him, "how did you get me the gate open without any questions?"

"I told them we had detention, and they let us through with some joke about Amity and school."

I follow behind Jax, pulling his jacket tighter to me smelling the scent of apples and cinnamon. It's very different from Daddy who usually smells of soap and metal. The sun lowers in the sky and I remind myself I have five minutes here then I hightail it home, and think of a way to escape certain death from staying out late. I haven't ever broken a rule before, maybe they will let this slide.

I hope.

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><p>Amity is beautiful, the trees seem to twist into each other, connected by limbs and branches, apples hang low off the trees, leaves are a bright beautiful green, some turning a soft yellow or washed out red. Jax and I walk the orchards in silence, I just soak up the beauty of Amity's scenery and the fresh crisp air.<p>

Five minutes flies by, I turn to Jax, "I need to go, the sun is beginning to set and I will never be allowed to leave my room if I miss dinner."

He smiles, "I understand, thank you again for today. Here," Jax reaches up and plucks a small bright red apple from a nearby limb. He sets it into my hands, "for the ride home."

"Thank you, I will see you sometime?"

"Yes, tomorrow actually, because you will have to return my jacket."

I look down and begin to take it off, but he stops me, "no, you will need it to get out of the gates. Tell them you left something and you will be back by curfew you promise. I do it all the time, it always works. So return my jacket tomorrow."

I smile and grasp the apple in my hands, "goodbye then."

"Goodbye, Nicola."

I walk towards the gates and say exactly what he advised me to say to the guards. I walk through the tall grass and jump into the train, I sit with my back against the wood and take a bite into the crisp, red apple. It's delicious!

Amity isn't that bad, if you can get over how smiley they are and how boring their life is. I munch on my apple until I come to my stop near the compound. I slip the jacket off and stuff it into my bag, holding my books in my arms to keep it from looking too suspicious.

This trip was fun, but I walk through the doors of the compound I realize, that Dauntless is the only place I belong.

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><p>My hand rests against the doorknob, dinner doesn't start for a few minutes, maybe I can say I had to stay a little longer for school and caught the wrong train, which is why I am so very late.<p>

I twist open the door and kick my shoes off, I just have to play it cool. Pretend like I just am getting home, with no worries, pretend like my insides aren't about to explode with panic. I can hear Mom wrestling Noah into the bath and slowly head towards the kitchen to grab a drink. The lights are off in the living room, that's odd.

I flip on the switch to see Daddy sitting there, in his chair. Waiting. I step back, "hey Daddy. You scared me, don't sit with the lights off like that."

"Where were you?"

I swallow, "school."

"Willow told me, why were you at school for over three hours?"

"Detention?" I say it more as a question than an answer.

"That's interesting because I called and apparently you left school an hour and a half ago."

This just got really bad, really fast. "You see, Daddy, I uh...I got on the wrong route home, and ended up in Abnegation and so I figured while I was there I would stop and see Grandma and Grandpa..."

Daddy shakes his head, "I called to ask if you had gone there, your grandparents didn't even know you had to stay after school today..." He takes a breath, "Nicola I was worried, I was about to send out a search party for you. Where were you?"

"I walked a friend home, that's all." That wasn't a complete lie, just a half-truth. "Why didn't you look for me?"

Daddy presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose, "because Willow assured me, you were safe."

Oh please, Willow tell me you left out Jax..."Really?"

"Yes, she said that you would be home before dinner. I trusted her, and here you are, home before dinner."

"Well I am going to head to my room."

"Stop right there, Nicola, you aren't walking away from this without punishment."

That figures, "alright."

"Grounded, two months."

"Two months?" I ask, that's it? I was expecting something heavier, the shock must register on my face.

"You haven't ever done anything to make your mother and I distrustful of you. You keep your grades up, you don't get into trouble, you don't break curfew, you're responsible. Thus I was willing to be more lenient towards this little...event."

"It won't ever happen again, Daddy I promise. It was a sincere accident, the train ride was longer than I expected."

"Where does your friend live?"

"Just near the gates." I keep my answer vague, I don't want to know what Daddy's reaction would be to finding out I was with a boy. A boy from Amity, at that.

He accepts this answer, I smile, "I love you Daddy. Thanks for going easy on me."

"That was because Mom, isn't happy with you...I love you too, baby girl."

Mom is definitely the disciplinarian, she is the bad cop of the duo and is she isn't happy with me it means two months grounding turned into four. I walk towards my room and pop my head inside the bathroom, where Mom is more wet and soapy than Noah is, "hey Mom."I attempt to keep my voice even, but it cracks slightly at the end.

Mom turns her head, "we are going to have a nice long talk later, Nicola Beatrice." She turns her attention to Noah who has smeared soap all over Mom's shirt and pants when she was distracted.

I wince at my full name, the universal sign that I'm in trouble. "Yes, Mom." I head to my room and toss my bag onto my bed. I put my things away and hide Jax's jacket under my pillow, hopefully it will stay hidden until tomorrow.

I change into some pajamas and sit against my bed, giving a poor attempt at doing my homework.

No matter how hard I try I can't Jax's name out of my head.

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><p><strong>Review, tell me what you all think, I hope you like it. <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I had a guest make a comment regarding my choice to make Tris the tougher parent. First of all, excellent observation, thank you for mentioning that since I'm sure more people might be questioning that choice. To me, personally, I feel like Tobias would have some fears regarding raising his children and acting like Marcus. Thus, I feel like Tris would take the more disciplinary role of the two parents, since Tobias would have a natural fear of losing his temper and reacting like Marcus. I hope that explains why I made that decision. Is it too OOC? If so I can make some changes to that idea. I want to stay as close to the characters as possible. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Mom opens the door to my room and shuts it behind her, then plants herself on the edge of my bed. "Where were you?"

"I was...walking a friend home."

"Really?"

"Yes, Mom. I was simply walking a friend home from the...class after school."

"It was detention. I already know that. What were you doing?"

"Just...not paying attention in class."

"As in talking while you should have been paying attention?"

How does Mom always know what I've done wrong? "Yes, I wasn't paying attention in class."

"Who were you talking with?"

"A friend."

Mom nods her head, and looks me over, "Nicola, you have never ever done anything like this before. Is there a reason why you have chosen to make these decisions? First talking in class, then coming home late."

"I didn't mean for that to happen, it has just been a...different day for me, Mom. That's all. I promise you, just like I promised Daddy, this won't ever happen again."

"It better not, how long did Dad ground you?"

"Two months."

"That sounds fair, since you aren't telling me the whole truth."

I blink a few times, "Mom, I told you what I was doing."

"So who were you with."

"I told you a friend," I bite my lip. My tell that I am lying or deliberately dropping information. I look down and bite my nails, hoping to curve my mistake of giving myself away.

"What's your friends name."

"Why is it important?" I shift to the side concealing my face from Mom. She can always tell when I am avoiding a situation by the emotions on my face.

"What is that, Nicola?"

I turn to face her, "what are you talking about?"

"What is that, under your pillow."

Oh this day just cannot get any worse. "It's just nothing."

"What is it?" Mom asks, reaching across me to the pillow. I reach forward to stop her, but my speed can't match hers. She pulls the jacket from under the pillow and looks it over.

"Why do you have a jacket from Amity?"

"It was my friends, the friend I walked home."

She nods, "so your friend was Amity." Mom looks at me, "Dad needs to know about this."

"Why? I didn't do anything wrong? I made a friend."

"Nicola, this is dangerous."

I stand up, "having friends is dangerous?"

"No, having friends from different factions is dangerous, you are making yourself a target."

"A target for what?" What is she talking about? I don't think there is any rule against, having friends from different factions or having something to do with a different faction. I know we say 'faction before blood', but is it a big deal honestly?

Mom takes a deep breath, "we will have an important discussion before your aptitude test next year. Until then, please just try not to make your association with the other factions limited." Mom sighs, "I'm overreacting. Nicola, just don't do this again. Alright? Return this jacket to your friend. And make sure Dad doesn't find out you were with a boy, alright?" Mom stands, and turns to leave, "And Nikki?"

"Yes, Mom?"

"Stop talking in class." She opens the door and walks away from me, I fall into the pillows and slide Jax's jacket under my pillow.

* * *

><p>Daddy knocks on my door and then swings it open, "dinner...Since you haven't ever done something like this, you can have dinner with the family. If your friends sit near us then that's lucky for you."<p>

That isn't too bad, Willow and her family sit with us normally anyway. I stand and walk to the cafeteria behind my parents, I love dinner here in Dauntless. It's loud always changing, full of love and laughter, even though you can't hear anything unless you scream it, it feels cozy. The yelling and boisterous conversations, reminds me of a big family event. Everyone laughing each other, enjoying amazing food, and the noise alone calms me which most people wouldn't find very serene. I begin to move towards the table my parents seat themselves at, when someone's hand wraps around my arm. I turn to see Willow, "what happened today?"

"Nothing."

"Nikki, come on, tell me exactly what happened. How awful was detention?"

"Could have been worse."

"Nikki," Willow pulls me to the line where I search for a piece of Dauntless cake, "tell me how was it with Jax?"

"Fine."

"Oh come on, Nikki. Am I going to have to punch it out of you. You got home late, what happened?" I can hear her girly giggles at the mere mention of me having some type of romance. Oddly enough, I find myself just as giggly to talk about. Even though, it is not a romance.

"Well, afterwords, he asked me if I could get home alright. Then, after telling him I could manage myself, I offered to take him on the train and drop him at the gates. Then he took me inside of Amity and...oh he gave me his jacket."

"Nikki, details! I need details, not a general summary."

I pile food onto my tray while I retell my evening to Willow, careful to keep my voice low enough to not be heard by anyone standing nearby. We walk to the table and I set my tray down sitting across from Noah, who is shoving pieces of cake in his mouth and occasionally his nose. I grin at him,'does it taste good, NoNo?"

Noah laughs and smashes his cake between his fingers, I love having him this little, being only about a year old now makes him sweet and adorable. In a few years I don't know how those dynamics will change. Willow presses her elbow into my side, "so when will you see him again?"

"I have to return it tomorrow."

Willow winks at me, as my parents sit down. Daddy next to me and Mom across from me and next to Noah. Uncle Uriah slams his food onto the table and squeezes in next to Willow pushing the two of us together between our Dads, "so girls what are you talking about?"

"Nothing," I pipe up. Uncle Uriah eyes the two of us, but within a few seconds finds that the seven or eight plates stacked on his tray are more important. I look over at Daddy who has just as much food, "you guys should watch your food, you aren't the same young teenagers you once were." I grin, plowing into my burger.

"I will have you know, I had you at 18 and you are 15 now, which makes me 33. I am quite a young man." Daddy smiles at me, "besides, I train initiates, I think that requires a certain amount of youth and thinness."

I roll my eyes and continue a silent conversation with Willow, she will give me a smile that I know will translate into a question. Our friendship stems from birth, we can read each other like sisters. Often, I know what she is thinking before she even says it, and she does what I am thinking before I can ask it of her. I know that beyond the shadow of a doubt, Willow will always have my back.

* * *

><p>"Nikki, go give him his jacket back, and who knows maybe he will invite you for tea or whatever it is the Amity drink."<p>

"Willow, shut up."

"Don't get angry with me because you can't be DAUNTLESS and talk to him."

"Oh shut it, you need to stop talking to the Candor for your gossip, you are beginning to turn into one of those smart-mouths."

Willow frowns, "stop stalling. Go give him his jacket."

I walk towards Jax, who is leaned against the wall, I discreetly pass him his jacket, "thank you, again, for the Jax...jacket, that's what I meant."

Jax nods, "you're welcome. I will see you?"

"Uh yeah, sure."

Jax turns on his heel and walks away with his jacket tossed over his shoulder. Willow squeals in my ear, "oh it's so cute. Forbidden love, secret rendezvous, star-crossed lovers!"

"No. No secret rendezvous, no lovers. Just friends. F-r-i-e-n-d-s. And no forbidden anything."

"Except forbidden talking in class. You seem to do that forbidden thing."

I roll my eyes, "my Candor smart-mouth meter is really starting to go off with you."

"You just don't want to admit you have a crush on him."

"I do not, Willow."

"Okay maybe not yet."

"Yet?" I ask.

"Yet. It's bound to happen, Nikki. Your parents were in a forbidden relationship, with secret rendezvous, it's in your genes to fall for this guy."

I walk into class and set my things down. "Willow, I am not even interested in him. Or any guy for that matter."

Willow bites the end of her nail, "stop fighting me on this. I can see it coming."

"Just be quiet, I have to stay silent in my classes today."

Willow smirks, "we will see how long that lasts in a few hours when you're Prince Charming is sitting next to you in class."

I think of how Jax called me Princess yesterday, my heart can't help but flutter at the comparison between me being called a Princess and Willow calling him my Prince Charming. I slump into my seat and prepare myself for the long day ahead.

* * *

><p>I walk through the hall to lunch, and see that familiar red jacket hidden in the hallway near my classroom, I turn and smile, "hey. Shouldn't you be at lunch?"<p>

"I didn't have much to do there and no real people to eat with, so I thought I would study in the hall until lunch ended."

"I wish you could sit with us, Jax." I shrug, "maybe some other day."

"Would you like to go to the orchards again? Jax blurts out, he turns a little red, "I mean if it works for you."

"That would be nice, but rain check for today. For now I am grounded..." I watch Jax frown, "it wasn't your fault."

"Well let me know when you can visit again."

I smile and twist my hair in my fingers, I walk towards Jax and feel Dauntless. I pull him into a hug, "thank you for taking me there. It wasn't Dauntless, but it was pretty anyway."

Jax laughs, "you know we could start walking home?"

I smile at the idea, "I will let you know when I get an answer. I think walking home is very beneficial for the two of us. I mean yesterday alone, it was a very...educational endeavor. I mean, I learn about the other factions and you learn about them too."

Jax grins, "I can't wait until then." Jax squeezes my hand and I feel my heart beat in my ears and through my fingertips.

I think to what Willow said earlier, she was right.

Let the secret rendezvous begin.

* * *

><p><strong> Review, sorry it's unedited. Tell me what you think PM or review ideas. <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Willow, I need you to do me a huge favor."

"You know I would do anything for you, Nikki. We are best friends, practically sisters."

"I need you to tell my parents I might run a little bit late since I am going to visit my grandparents."

"In Abnegation?" Willow asks.

I cross my arms, "yes."

"Aren't you grounded?" Willow slings her back pack around her shoulder and adjusts her headband. She never ceases to amaze me at how well she can carry herself.

"I am, but my grandparents are ABNEGATION, the chances of me having FUN are very slim. Trust me, they won't question it, they don't let me do more than work on my homework and eat chicken and peas. If anything, they will think I am punishing myself form guilt."

"So tell them that you are going to Abnegation...But you aren't actually going to visit them, are you?"

"I am going to actually visit them... On my way to walking Jax to Amity."

"Oh, so we are at the 'secret meetings without your parents knowing' stage?"

"Willow, will you tell them or not?"

"Of course, Nikki. You go on your date-"

I cut her off, "it's not a a date."

"okay on your little...walking home thingy."

Why would she think this is a date? "It's not a date."

"I know, I just agreed with you."

"Okay good, because I would hate for you to be disappointed that this isn't date."

Willow crosses her arms, "Okay, it's not a date."

"Thank you."

Willow smirks at me and flips her hair back, "you were hoping this was a date weren't you?"

Incredulous, I set my hands on my hips, "I was not!"

"Then why were so insistent that it wasn't a date even after I agreed with you? You were trying to justify that it wasn't a date. You were hoping that it was a date, I know it."

"Willow, I need to go alright? Don't forget to tell my parents."

Willow smiles, then breaks into a run with the train and pulls herself inside, her blonde hair blurring out of sight. I turn towards the schools and wait for the numbers of the students to dwindle. This isn't a date, right? Do I even want it to be a date?

No, I don't. This is just forming a friendship, Jax approaches me. "Are we jumping onto trains?"

"Yeah, I can't walk you to the gate, though. I have to stay on the train and then go to Abnegation to visit my grandparents." We head to the trains, letting a few cars roar past us.

"Your grandparents are Abnegation?" Jax zips his jacket up and smiles at me.

"Yes, my mother was a transfer. It's rare to be an Abnegation transfer to Dauntless."

"And did your father switch?"

I have learned not to mention were Daddy is from, I don't know the whole story, but I know he is from Abnegation and his life there was not very good. I haven't ever met my grandfather who lives in Abnegation, Mom says it is safer that way. Apparently, my grandmother died in childbirth. Although, there seems much more to that story than what Daddy tells me. I realize Jax has been waiting for an answer, "I never asked."

Jax looks at me curiously, as if he isn't sure whether or not I am telling the truth. But he doesn't press the matter, "we should jump on."

We run side by side, me easily, Jax pulls himself in without my help. Even though it was rough and very shaky, it was still better than the last time where I had to pull him into the car. The two of us sit on the edge of the train, our legs swinging in the wind. "Can I ask you a question?"

The wind blowing past us makes it difficult to hear, but I can read his lips just well enough to make out what he is saying. "Why not."

Jax glances around then stars down at his hands, "in about eight months we have our aptitude tests, are you scared?"

"Honestly?" I ask, "without judging me for not being Dauntless enough?"

"Of course not."

"I'm terrified," I breathe out, and lean back on my hands.

"Do you think you will switch?"

"No, I love my home."

"Even if you had an aptitude for say...Candor?"

I break into a grin and try not to laugh, "no! I don't care if I get an aptitude for any faction outside of Dauntless, I won't leave."

"Your family is there."

"My life is there." I say, "my parents, my baby brother, my best friend, my aunts and uncles, everything."

"I understand that. So you don't plan on switching."

"I haven't ever given switching factions a thought. What about you?"

"I don't know."

"You mean you might switch?" I lean my head back and let the wind blow my hair around my face.

"I might, if I had a good reason to leave."

"Don't you have a good reason to stay?" I open my eyes and look at Jax through my tangled locks.

"I have a decent reason to stay, but at the moment I am thinking that their might be a very strong reason to switch developing." He smiles at me, silence settling between us. I close my eyes and lay back along the floor of the train, wondering what reason Jax could possible have for leaving his faction and family behind.

* * *

><p>It stays quiet between us until, Jax nudges my shoulder with his elbow, "this is where I get off."<p>

I sit up, "how long did that take?"

"Only about ten minutes for the train to get to the fields."

I nod, I can just tell Grandma and Grandpa I walked to Abnegation, especially if I mention jogging and running through the neighborhood on my way there to explain my windblown hair. My grandparents are very perceptive. I stand up as Jax prepares to jump off the train, we stand staring at each other unsure of a proper goodbye. Do we hug? Shake hands? A dilemma I have come to realize has no real answer.

"I will see you again tomorrow, right?" Jax asks, handing me another red apple, "I picked it on my way to school this morning."

"Thank you...I think I could do this again tomorrow."

Jax takes a step back, preparing to jump off the train, he turns to me and smiles, "I think since we have broken rules together, we are classified as friends."

"I think that's fair." Jax gives me a small hug, one that I swear made my heart stop beating. Jax leans back and turns to the field.

"Goodbye." He jumps off the train, less than gracefully, and waves as he slowly disappears from view. I let the scene blur until the standard grey homes come to focus. I need to talk to Grandma anyway, she always knows what to do. Jax gave me a hug, and called us friends.

I feel some disappointment, maybe Willow was right. I was hoping this was some sort of date. I hate when Willow is right, she never let's me forget about it. I toss my bag around my shoulder and jump off the train. I always avoid the Factionless area since it always creeps me out, they look so lost, even though the Abnegation have seen to it that they are fed and clothed, they just don't fit together. Mix-matched clothing and their standoffish attitude makes them seem so alone, lost without a people to belong to, a family. I run through there, and slow to a quick walk counting the houses until I come to the home of my grandparents. When I was younger and my parents took me to visit, I would get lost since each home looked exactly the same. I have learned now to count the houses on the street and memorize the number that signifies their home. I walk up the steps, even though I know that their door is always unlocked I always use the manners my parents were sure to teach me and knock.

It only takes a moment for the door to open, "Grandma!" I smile and hug her, forgetting how it would be more polite of me to bow when I see her. Although, she and Grandpa realize that my first response is not to bow to them, but hug them. They have long since accepted at my displays of affection, sometimes I have a nagging suspicion that they secretly love it.

"Hello, Nikki. It's nice to see you, too."

"Is it alright if I stay for dinner?"

"Have you asked your parents?"

"Well, not really, but you can call and ask for me right? I mean, they can't say no to you."

Grandma gives me a smile as she shuts the door behind me. I set my shoes next to the door and throw my bag on the counter in the kitchen. "Is Grandpa back from work?"

"He will be soon, would you like something to eat while I call your mother."

"Is my secret stash of candy still hidden in the pantry?"

"Yes, it is." Grandma presses one of the phones to her ear, it's coil swaying back and forth with her pacing movements, she said that they didn't have phones in Abnegation until recently. Only the council members had them, in case of some type of government emergency or to speak with any representative from Erudite, since they still haven't allowed any Abnegation into their sector for years. Apparently, phone calls are the only ways they can get anything done between the two factions, of course I am not supposed to know that. But dinner with my grandparents always leads to some type of government discussion. I grab a few pieces of candy as I hear Grandma speaking on the phone.

I sit on the counter popping hard candies into my mouth, Grandma turns to me, setting the phone on the hook, "they said it was fine that you were here, even though you are grounded."

"Did I forget to mention that?"

Grandma gives me a stern look, "yes you did. You were grounded." She phrases it as a statement, probably because it is un-Abnegation to be curious outside of asking a question that relates to doing something for someone else. Although, I seem to bring out the un-Abnegation in my grandparents, who are much more relaxed with me around. I think it's because I try very hard to be respectful of their customs and beliefs, so they are willing to let me get away with a few things. Like eating candy and sitting on the counter.

"Well, I got home late from school. After getting detention."

"Detention." Grandma sets a pot on the stove, "Nikki please get the plates out and set them on the table."

I set the plates on the table, "I was talking class."

"Talking in class, I assume with Willow."

We have learned how to discuss things in a selfless manner, "no, with someone else. Another friend."

"Good to hear that you are making new friends, although I don't think that talking in class is the best way to proceed with the friendship."

"Well, he and I were having a long and interesting discussion."

"He?" Grandma doesn't turn to face me, as she stirs the peas in the pot on the stove top.

"Well, that's one of the reasons why I am here. I needed someone to talk to."

"You have your parents."

I set the cups out, "Grandma, Mom would be upset that I wasn't paying attention in class and Daddy would freak out if he found out that I was even speaking to a boy who he didn't already threaten if they so much as looked at me the wrong way."

Grandma laughs and toasts some bread, "that is a valid point."

I set the forks out and laugh, "his name is Jax."

"One of your new friends. I thought you knew everyone in Dauntless."

I stay quiet, but Grandma has always looked out for me, she loves me, "he's Amity."

Grandma stops stirring for a moment, "Amity. Nikki, who else knows about this?"

"Just Willow. It's not like we are dating, just friends."

"Although, I sense you like him."

"I might...He took me to Amity yesterday," I smile at the thought and remember the apple I tucked into my bag, "hold that thought, Grandma."

I slide to the counter and pull my apple from my bag, taking a large bite, "it was beautiful, have you ever been there?"

"Don't chew and talk, Nikki." Grandma turns to me, I blush and continue to chew my apple. "I have, it is very beautiful. Nikki, I don't think that going to Amity is something you should do again."

"Why?" I swallow and take another hunk out of the apple.

"We will talk more about this after dinner, your grandfather will be home in a few moments."

As if on que, the front door swings open, I hear it shut and listen to Grandpa's footsteps. He turns into the kitchen and smiles at me, "Grandpa!" I slam into his arms. Grandpa has a soft spot for me, I think it's because I am his first born grandchild. My grandparents are quite young, considering how young my parents were when they had me. I bet he didn't expect me so soon, thus I was a special surprise for them.

"You seem to be getting so much bigger with every time I see you."

"Do you mean I look older? Because I haven't grown in a while." I give him a kiss on the cheek and turn to help Grandma set the food on the table.

Grandpa helps us, "you look older."

Sitting down, it stays quiet while we set food onto our plates, "how long are you here Nikki?" Grandpa asks.

"As long as I am home before curfew in Dauntless I can stay."

Grandpa smiles, "how is your brother?"

"Fine, although he has recently discovered how to put food up his nose. Mom is having a great time with that one."

Grandpa chuckles and Grandma giggles, Grandpa takes a sip of his drink, "and your parents?"

"Great, although Daddy seems to think he is invincible and Mom wants another baby, I think. She has been dropping hints since Noah will be walking soon."

Grandma smiles, "well I had your Uncle Caleb and your mother almost a year apart, since she seems to take after me, that would make sense."

I nod, "I can't imagine another kid at home. I love Noah, but I need some time in between another one being born."

Grandpa laughs, "it was definitely an interesting experience having two young children."

I continue to eat my dinner and allow Grandpa and Grandma their time to discuss work. It always bores me so I eat the bland chicken and steamed peas, saving my toast for later. Since I keep a small jar of honey that I use to sweeten the toast up. Grandpa volunteers to do the dishes, and I help clear the table and Grandma invites me to go see the new plants she planted to grow some vegetables.

I know the real purpose of coming outside was so that we can talk privately, "Nikki, I hope you know how much I love you."

"Of course Grandma."

"And I know that your tests are coming up soon."

"I know, I'm terrified."

"Don't be, just remember do not tell anyone your results."

I nod, "that never made much sense to me. But, Mom said she would sit down and talk tome before the tests about it."

Grandma sighs in relief, I wonder why? "Good, now about this boy, Jax."

"Yes?"

"Nikki, I don't want you to seem like you aren't loyal to your faction...Coming here is one thing since we are family. But Amity, is a different story. If someone from Dauntless finds out that you have befriended someone outside of Dauntless it could be taken negatively."

"I know, Grandma. I am very careful." It's a half truth, I mean we don't converse openly at school, and it's only been two days I haven't had to be careful about very much.

"You aren't going to like this but it's to keep you safe," I brace myself for whatever she is going to say, I don't understand why it is such a big deal that I have friends outside of my faction. It doesn't mean I want to be Amity, just that I have a friendship with someone from there. Even if I did want to be Amity, why is that an issue? Anyone would be stupid to think I would want to leave Dauntless for that. Even if I did want to be Amity, I wouldn't like it, I would make a way to fit in, but I'm Dauntless. This thinking is pointless. Grandma takes my hand, "promise me, you will keep this friendship restricted to an occasional hello and goodbye in the not crowded hallway at school?"

I swallow, I like Jax, a lot. We are friends now, it would be rude of me to just stop speaking to him like I have for the past couple of days. Plus, I want to have a friendship with him, I feel that disappointment at today's walk home not being a date, is it possible I want more from Jax, like a relationship? Grandma makes me look her in the eye, "promise me."

"I promise."

It's the first and the last time I ever lied to my Grandmother.

* * *

><p><strong>Review tell me what you think! It's unedited sorry...<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I lay on the floor of the train, my hair blowing in the wind. The factions blur past me, upside down, "Jax?"

Jax has been sitting with his back to the car staring out the door, "yes?"

"What is your favorite color?" I sit on my elbows, the past two weeks we have found various excuses to run a little late home and hang out on the trains instead. Today is Wednesday, which means I spend the evening with Uncle Caleb to raise my grade in math. Tomorrow, I go to Abnegation to have dinner with my grandparents. These are the only two days we spend real time together and not notes passed in the hallways.

"An icy, bright, clear blue."

I frown, I was expecting yellow or red. "What is your favorite color, Nicola?"

"Emerald green," like the color of your eyes, I think to myself.

My crush on Jax has grown in the past couple of weeks, the more I learn about him, the more I am drawn to him. I stand up and hand him the small plastic bowl holding the large piece of Dauntless chocolate cake I snuck for him last night's dinner, "this is for you."

He hands me my usual bright red apple. "What is it?" His brown eyes take in the cake with curiosity that reminds me of whenever Noah gets a new toy.

"It's cake, you have had cake right?"

Jax shakes his head, "in Amity, we eat very...organic."

"Well, it's chocolate cake from Dauntless."

"Sounds delicious."

I sit next to him, slipping my apple into my back pack, "are you nervous for our Aptitude tests in the upcoming months?"

"A little."

I smile, "so am I." They have been mentioning the tests for a long time, but now it seems like the day is getting closer in seconds instead of months. Taking a bite of my apple, I watch the lights come into focus, signifying Erudite.

"My stop is coming up, Jax."

"Nicola, wait a second."

I turn to him, "yeah?"

I runs his hand through his hair, "you are by far the best friend I have ever had."

I smile, "thank you, you are my best friend too." I pull him into a hug, and toss my bag around my shoulder, "I need to jump. Goodbye."

Jax smiles, "see you tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

* * *

><p>Uncle Caleb, is the most dry and boring person, ever. Seriously, like the most boring to ever to walk the planet, type of ever.<p>

I bite the end of my pencil, "Uncle Caleb, physics is interesting and all, but I need help with math."

Which is a lie, this is one of the many sacrifices I make to spend twenty minutes a day with Jax. If I wanted to, I could pass math easily. My classes have never been a struggle, I coast through them. Normally, Jax and I couldn't manage to do this every week, but Mom's reputation as a Faction ambassador and since Daddy is one of our Faction leader now, I can go between factions without any hassle or questioning.

Uncle Caleb, proceeds to explain the problem in great detail, I nod, pretending that I am listening carefully to what he says. I wonder if Jax's parents know about me. Probably, not. He called me his best friend, I break into a grin, he called _me, _Nicola_,_ _his best friend!_ Uncle Caleb takes my smile as a sign that I understand what he is saying and advises me to do the problem.

I complete it with little difficulty, I think Uncle Caleb is trying to lure me into choosing Erudite. I'm bright, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't live my life studying and learning constantly. And heaven forbid I have to wear that horrid shade of blue. Every. Single. Day.

Uncle Caleb grins, "perfect, Nikki. Absolutely perfect! You executed the problem very well, showed all your work. Fantastic job in arithmetic for today."

"Thank you for showing me Uncle, should we get some dinner?"

He nods and offers me his arm and launches into a long discussion about the mechanics of water pumps in Amity. I give a 'yes, interesting' and an 'mhm' every now and again just to keep him under the belief that I actually care about how the pumps release pressure when a certain ratio of water is reached.

I stare at the food sitting in front of me, all of it rich in vitamins to keep a healthy and strong mind, I look around and find macaroni and cheese, more than likely for the small children in Erudite. I begin to stack it into my plate, turning I hit a tall woman.

"Oh, excuse me, miss."

"Jeanine, Jeanine Matthews."

I smile, "oh I'm Nicola."

"Yes, I have heard much about you, my dear. Your uncle says you are very smart."

"Thank you." Something about Jeanine makes me uneasy, and I try to find an escape route that won't hurt her feelings.

She smiles, "run along now. I would hate for you to keep your uncle waiting...I'm sure we will speak again."

"I'm sure we will." I walk towards Uncle Caleb and sit across from him taking a large bite of my mac n' cheese.

Uncle Caleb frowns, "that is not a very healthy meal, Nikki. It won't do very much for your mind."

"Thankfully for you, I'm Dauntless." I say, scooping up another mouthful.

"Your mother said your Choosing Ceremony will be here soon."

I try not to roll my eyes, why won't everyone stop asking me about it? I discuss it with Jax because we both have decisions to make, but I don't want the adults here trying to sway me one way or the other.

I am Dauntless. My home is in Dauntless. That is where I will switch. I look up, "yes it is. Uncle Caleb I have a question."

He smiles, the thoughts of my Choosing Ceremony flitting away, "I was wondering if you could explain Amity's water system again?"

He smiles and continues to speak rapidly about the pressure and I eat away the last of my mac n' cheese.

* * *

><p>"I'm home!" I toss my bag onto the counter and search the kitchen for some more food.<p>

"Did you have fun with your Uncle?" Daddy asks, sitting down at the table with a smirk on his face.

I groan, "it was so boring!" I find a bowl and pour some cereal in, "I mean, the moment he tried to explain math he launched into physics and water in Amity."

Daddy laughs, "you were the one who said you needed help with math."

"I know, you're right. Where is Mom?"

"Getting Noah into the bath and then bed."

I nod, "hold on I'm going to go say hi, my report card is in my backpack for this month Daddy." I walk down the hallway and turn to the bathroom, "hey Mom." I knock and then open the door. Noah smiles at me, with the three teeth he has, "Sissy!"

"NoNo!" I wave at him and look at Mom, "I got my report card today, Daddy is looking at it now."

"We need to talk after I get Noah to bed, okay?"

"Alright...May I ask what this is about?" I feel some worry at the thought that they somehow found out about Jax and I.

"Your aptitude test and choosing ceremony."

I feel myself sink a little further into the worry I have been putting off. This year I will have to choose, I know I will choose Dauntless, but what if my test says I am better suited for Erudite? Or Abnegation? I have family in both factions. And what if I fall in love with Jax? I can't expect him to switch and leave his family. I shake my head, I will keep my earlier decision, I will stay in Dauntless. There is no guarantee that, even if I did fall in love with Jax, that a relationship between us would work out. In which case, I would regret switching factions. I nod, "okay, Mom. I can get Noah to bed, I haven't done it in a while." I also need time to relax without the pressure of my upcoming test and choice.

"Yes, thank you. When your done, come to the living room so we can talk, you, me, and Dad." She stands up, and I see how soaked she is. Soap all over her clothes, water in a puddle beneath her. She walks out and I can hear her soaked footsteps through the hall getting quieter.

"You know how easy you have it, NoNo?"He smiles at me and tosses water everywhere. "I'm serious, baby brother, you don't have any school work, you don't have to worry about your Choosing Ceremony, you don't have crushes." I unplug the tub and grab a towel.

"Let's get you dressed, brush your three teeth, comb your hair and get you to sleep, huh?"

"Story?"

I smile, "yeah, I will read you a story. But you have to listen to me and try not to make any more of a mess. Kapish?"

"Kapish."

Wrapping the towel around him, I try not to get my sneakers wet and my pants as dry as is possible. "I bet you had a fun day today. Did you go anywhere?"

"Grumpy."

"Oh you went to see Grandma and Grandpa in Abnegation." I laugh at how limited his vocabulary is, even though he can only manage a few words here and there, Uncle Caleb was sure to make sure that both of us were started on some type of program to make us smarter earlier. Of course, only Mom knows about that, Daddy just assumes we are smarter than the average set of kids. "Okay, NoNo, let's get you in some pajamas and brush your teeth."

After getting him dressed and brushing his teeth, I comb his hair and pick him up, setting him on my hip. He is getting so big, I can't believe he is 18 months old. I set him into his bed and slide in next to him, "okay what shall we read? Or would you like me to tell you a story?"

Noah thinks on it and shrugs. I reach for a book and begin to read it, with as much excitement and animation as I am sure a child his age would appreciate. I feel his head bobbing against my shoulder, and soon I can hear his light snores. I slip out of his grasp and tuck him in, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "goodnight NoNo. Sweet dreams."

"I press his night light into the wall, and click the light off.

I am more firmly decided than before that no matter what happens in that testing room, I won't leave Dauntless. I won't leave Noah.

* * *

><p>I walk to the living room, where Daddy is tossing an apple.<p>

A red apple. From Amity. I swallow, keep a straight face, and sit on the couch.

"Where did you get this apple?" Daddy asks.

"Willow," the lie comes smoothly, I know she will cover for me, I have covered for her many times. Lying about an apple is the least she can do for me.

Daddy nods, "your grades look great, straight A's in every class."

"Uncle Caleb helped a lot with that."

Mom sits down next to me, "we need to talk about your Aptitude Test, Nicola."

"Yeah, what about it?"

Daddy sets the apple on the coffee table, "Nikki, sometimes during the simulation you can make many different choices. And if you make too many different choices, you can fit into more than one faction."

"That's impossible."

Mom looks at me seriously, "if you fit into more than one faction fit into a new category. You are something," Mom lowers her voice, "something called _Divergent..._ It is very extremely dangerous."

"Why does this affect me?" I ask.

"Because Dad and I both are in that category." Mom glances around to make sure no one has entered the room.

"Which means I am too?"

"We aren't sure, but it's possible," Daddy frowns, and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Well how do I know?"

Mom takes another breath, "when you go for your test they will put you under simulation. If you are aware of what is happening, if you realize you are in the room under simulation for your test means you are Divergent. If your tester tells you that you are, do not tell anyone. Don't tell Willow, don't tell anyone. When it comes your time to choose, you make your decision based on what you feel. If you will feel safer in Amity or Abnegation switch there. But, if you are willing to take the risk you can stay here. Your father and I will protect you, but just know that being here is dangerous. You could be killed...You can't switch to Candor."

"Why? Not that I am considering it, but just wondering." I ask.

Daddy sighs, "they use truth serum, they make you tell them everything about yourself, once your secrets are out in the open you will not have the compulsion to lie ever again. You can see why that would be dangerous for you."

I nod, "I already know where I am going to go, regardless of what happens when I'm tested."

Daddy raises his eyebrows, "oh?"

"Dauntless. If you and Mom can make it here, I can too. This is my home, I am not going to leave Noah and you and Mom. I am strong, I am brave, I am courageous, I will make it fine here."

Daddy breaks into a smile, "I figured you would say something like that."

I hug him and Mom, "what can I say, it is the Dauntless thing to do."

* * *

><p>Jax and I sit with our feet dangling out the train car watching rain pelt the ground as angry grey clouds march across the sky.<p>

"Nicola?"

I turn to Jax, "you trust me right?"

"Of course."

"And you're Dauntless?"

I roll my eyes, "is that not obvious by the color of my clothing?"

He smiles, "then be brave." He moves closer to me and presses a light, sweet kiss to my lips.

I smile and lean back, "wow."

"I haven't ever done that before, was it okay?"

I shrug, "I haven't either. Try again."

Jax kisses me as thunder cracks and we both take a breath at the same time. "What does this mean for us?"

Jax takes my hand, "I don't know, but I can't wait to find out."

I rest my head on his shoulder, "I have to go soon."

"So do I."

We stay like that, until Abnegation comes into focus, I stand up and decide to be brave and kiss Jax goodbye. I jump out the train and walk to my grandparents house with a stupid grin on my face until reality catches up to me. We are from two different worlds, two families, two places. And I am not willing to go, and Jax might not be willing to either.

I take a deep breath, Jax was right. We need to be brave.

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter will be tons of fun! Okay, review!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**You guys this is a long chapter and I move around time frames so bear with me.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

Leaned against the counter, I watch Grandma slide the chicken into a pan, "Nikki, how was your day?"

"Fine," I let my fingers brush over my lips, making sure that my first kiss was real.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, do you need help?" I push myself off the counter and set a few plates on the table. I wonder if Jax will decide to choose Dauntless, I almost hope he doesn't. I don't want him to switch to Dauntless for me, there is no guarantee that a relationship between us would work. In which case, Jax would have left his family behind for nothing. He would be stuck in Dauntless forever. Grandpa sits at the table, I keep myself resigned and quiet, considering how my life is changing rapidly.

This morning, I had never been kissed. This morning, I knew I would switch to Dauntless without a second thought. This morning, I only had a crush on Jax. This morning, my life was simple.

Now, I have been kissed. I might switch to Dauntless, with plenty of second thoughts. I have a relationship with Jax. Now, my life is complicated.

I set aside my fork, leaving an almost full plate, "are you feeling alright, Nikki?" Grandpa gives me a concerned glance.

"I'm fine, just a little tired."

"You can go upstairs and take a nap, if it would make you feel better."

"I think I will, Grandpa." I run up the stairs, and go to what I have learned was Mom's room when she was my age. I hope being here will give me some clarity. I shut her door behind me, lock it, and collapse into the bed. The sheets are a bit scratchy, but make me feel safe nonetheless. Closing my eyes, I pull the covers over my shoulder and let myself fall asleep hoping to make my complicated life simple once again.

* * *

><p>When I open my eyes, dusk shines through the window and onto the wall across from me. The rain from earlier must have stopped completely. I sit up, stretch, and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I have no answer to my previous dilemmas, but now I can think with a clear and rested mind. I'm careful to make the bed and leave the room just as I found it.<p>

I bound down the steps of the stairs and see Grandma sitting in the couch knitting. "I think I am going to head home."

Grandma smiles at me, "Nikki you know if you ever need to talk, if anything ever bothers you I'm here for you and will always support you."

"Um, thanks." I toss my bag over my shoulder, "I will see you next week, goodbye."

"Bye, Nikki."

I walk out the front door and run to the tracks. As the train blows past, I pull myself in and watch more clouds dance across the sky. I realize that my relationship with Jax might blossom in the weeks leading up to my Aptitude Test. The thought makes my heartbeat pick up, warmth stretching through my veins, the compound comes into view. I jump off and rush inside, hopping that the clouds hanging above me won't let a drop fall on me. Once I enter the pit, my pace slows, making my way home, I set my key in the lock and step inside. "Daddy, Mom, I'm home."

Daddy has Noah in his lap, reading a book. "Mom wants to speak with you."

I can't possible be in trouble, I haven't done a single thing wrong. I haven't gotten detention, I have been extremely careful to keep my association with Jax a secret. My grades are fantastic. I walk to my parent's room, knock and then step inside.

"Mom, you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, sit down sweetheart."

I slide onto the bed and twirl part of the thread of a pillow in my fingers, "am I in trouble?"

"Yes and no...I know you have been seeing the boy from Amity."

My jaw opens, but I quickly shut it, "how?" My pipsqueak voice doesn't help me sound any less guilty.

"Besides having his jacket and hiding it under your pillow? The apple from Amity was my next clue...I've been to Amity before, I am the Faction Ambassador for Dauntless, I visit every single faction. So are you going to tell me what has been going on or am I going to have to get Dad in here right now to get an answer out of you?"

I bite my lip, debating my options, "what do you want to know?"

"First of all, what is his name?"

"Is that relevant?"

Mom furrows her brow, considering the situation,"you are the one who has been hiding this from me... I hope you realize that I will have to tell your father so would you prefer to hear from him now or later?"

"Mom...I thought you said that you would get Daddy if I wasn't talking. I'm open to try talking. You don't need to get him."

"Nikki, I tell him everything, he might as well be in here for this. I was just hoping to get answers fast, clearly you are going to give me vague answers on this subject."

Those are valid points, I don't like hiding things from my parents, maybe they can help me come to a decision. Or maybe, they will over react and I will end up in more trouble than I ever imagined. I decide, it's worth the risk, "okay, fine... I might as well only tell the story once."

Mom nods and calls for Daddy. This will be a most interesting night.

* * *

><p>"So, Nikki what is his name?" Mom asks.<p>

"Jax."

"And Jax is, what, in relation to you?" Daddy questions me with his lips in a pressed line.

"A friend." It's not a complete lie, just another half truth. I seem to specialize in half-truths and twisted facts.

Mom lets silence settle before speaking up, "we know that you have been seeing Jax regularly."

"Yes, I have. But it was only because we can't openly be friends in school, so we figured just hanging out for a few minutes every week would be okay. That's all, I promise. No one knows." Except Willow, but honestly that doesn't factor into this.

I can see from Daddy's expression he doesn't like the situation, "let me get this straight, he is a boy right?"

"Yeah."

Daddy growls, "I forbid it."

"Daddy, be reasonable."

"It's a boy Nicola. A boy who I don't know. How do I know if he is a good kid? How do I know he isn't going to hurt you? How do I know he won't try something? I don't know his parents, I don't know how he was raised, and I haven't personally sat down and made sure he was someone I am comfortable with you being around like I do with everyone else."

"You sit down with my friends?" I knew Daddy spoke to a few boys who showed an interest in me but my friends? That's a bit much.

"Of course, you are my daughter, I had to make sure you were surrounded by good people. Mainly boys who I had intimidated enough to keep their eyes and hands off of you. And if I was scary enough, kept their minds off of you too."

I'm not shocked, since Daddy has always been very adamant about safety in regards to my life. "So how much trouble am I in?" I look to Mom, who has remained quiet during the discussion. Mom being silent equals a huge punishment.

"It's obvious, that first of all this friendship needs to end. You are putting yourself and Jax at risk, if people find out you have been freely associating with someone outside of Dauntless it could be catastrophic. Nikki, faction before blood. Those words also apply to dealing with other factions. The only reason you get to see your grandparents and uncle is because of the status your father and I have. If he wasn't leader and I wasn't part of Dauntless' correspondence with other Factions you would see them on Visiting Day and that's it. I hope you realize how privileged you are."

"Of course and I'm thankful for that, but I don't see how this could be so bad for me."

Daddy sighs, "Nicola, you remember the conversation we had regarding the possible outcome of your test?"

Divergent, they said it was dangerous, I nod my head.

Daddy runs his hand over his face and then his neck, a sign of stress I learned in one of my science classes on the body's tendency to show stress in , "by being with people from other factions you are sending signals that you aren't completely Dauntless. You fit into other places, you are special. All it takes is for one person to catch on to seeing how easily you adapted in Amity, or Abnegation, or Erudite, or Candor and know what that means, for you to end up dead in the chasm or by the tracks."

I swallow, "dead?"

Mom grasps my hand, "we didn't want to scare you. Nicola, people are killed for their Divergence. It means more than just being dangerous and getting you into some serious trouble, it means your life. And possibly the lives of me, Dad, Noah, and Uriah."

"Uncle Uriah is one of you?"

Mom nods, "possibly Willow and her younger brothers. Nicola, please listen to us. We are trying to help you and keep you safe...Look, this is rare, but I would prefer to end this on good terms. End any association and ties with anything outside of this faction, I don't care how small it is, alright? Just do that, and we can let this Jax thing go? I would prefer you safe and you understand why, then you be angry and act on those rash decisions."

The fact that Mom and Daddy aren't angry means that this is beyond serious. They are calm, they are talking to me with concern and worry, this is a real threat. They aren't over reacting, or yelling or punishing me because they want me to understand how serious this is. Being Divergent is not only probable for me, but could be my death sentence if I'm not careful. I can't believe everything that's just happened, right as I began to begin something with Jax it must come to an end. I have to end this. I can't let Noah be hurt, my parents, or any of my other family.

* * *

><p>"Jax, we should talk."<p>

Jax looks over at me, his hair blowing in the wind from the train, "what's on your mind?"

I don't want to hurt him, but it's what I have to do, for the safety of my family and him. I tell Jax exactly what happened yesterday, I even mention being Divergent. I trust Jax, and I trust that he will be understand how dangerous this relationship is. After a few moments of silence, I look at Jax, "well?" I wipe a few of the tears that had appeared as I had to tell him that a relationship between us would simply not work.

He rubs the back of his neck, "Nicola. Did I ever tell you what a romantic I am?"

"No, but Jax, you can't charm me out of this. I have to break this, whatever this is, off."

"Just listen for a moment, Nicola...I-I believe in Fate. I believe that things just don't happen for no apparent reason, I believe in love at first sight, no matter how unrealistic and impractical it sounds. I believe in the chase involved in courting, I believe that there is someone special for every single person in this world. I believe that whatever it is that draws me to you is something I can't lose. And I believe above all else, that I will do whatever it takes to find out why in the world it is that someone as sweet, charming, intelligent, witty, not to mention absolutely stunning has turned my world upside down...I want you to be safe and happy, so if you never speak to me again because it's what makes you happy and safe, then I will step out of your life. I would prefer to see you happy, that would make me happy even if we aren't together."

The tears that were bleeding out my eyes are now running down my chin and falling onto the train's floor. Those are the most heartfelt things anyone has ever said to me. I throw my arms around Jax's neck, "I don't want to do this, but I have to. To keep us safe. If I was a girl from Amity..."

"You would hate it. And don't even think of switching."

"I wasn't, I can't leave my family...I was just saying things would be easier if we were in the same faction."

Jax doesn't speak, I look up at him. He looks to be in deep concentration, "I have an idea."

"What is it?"

"We can't be seen with someone from another faction, correct?"

"Yes, but we already know that."

"Next time we meet, bring some clothes from Dauntless, and I will bring some from Amity." Jax looks over me, "you are about the size of my neighbor."

"I am?" A small amount of jealousy seeps through my voice at the thought of Jax having a neighbor who in some way reminds him of me.

"Don't worry, she is 13."

I frown for a moment, "Jax, we can't impersonate other factions and what if someone sees us from Amity or Dauntless they will identify us immediately."

"Don't worry about that. We will still be careful and only on the trains like before, except now if someone sees us it will look like I am part of Dauntless and if you ever come with me to Amity, you are a member of Amity."

"That's brilliant."

Jax kisses my temple, "you still going to tell me this needs to end?"

"No, but what about when it comes time to choose? I mean, I don't expect you to leave your family behind."

"Nicola, I said if I had a good enough reason to switch I would. You are a good enough reason."

"But what if things don't work out? Then you are stuck in Dauntless."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take."

I can't imagine leaving my family behind, I can't imagine life in a place I don't belong, "don't you like Amity?"

"Do you want my honest thoughts on my peace-loving faction?"

"Yes, they seem nice."

"Nicola, first of all does it strike you odd how different I am from the rest of my faction?"

"I never paid much attention, I don't really hang out with Amity."

"Think of all the smiles."

I struggle to remember the few Amity I have ever been around, "you aren't as smiley."

"Wonder why?"

I shrug, "you don't have a lot of reason to smile?"

"We are drugged, Nicola. We voted and agreed to put peace serum in our own bread. That's why we are so happy all the time, we literally can't show anything else but happiness. Next time we are at lunch notice how I never actually put that piece of bread in my mouth, but I stick with my fruits and vegetables and everything without breading."

"Really?"

"Yes, and do you have any idea how annoying it is to come to a consensus by discussing it for hours upon hours on end just to have one person voice a negative opinion and restart the entire discussion. It is the most counter-productive way of making decision for our faction."

"You guys sit there and discuss everything?"

Jax rolls his eyes, "don't get me wrong, there are some amazing things in Amity. But there are also many things there that I don't agree with."

"Are you saying you might switch?" I twist my hair between my fingers.

"I don't know, I really just don't know."

I kiss Jax on the cheek, "maybe your Aptitude Test will help clear things up."

* * *

><p><strong> Day of Aptitude Test<strong>

I almost can't sit straight, my shaking has gotten so awful. I sit up and look around the room and glance at the chair and needle. The woman sitting by my chair has a straight face despite her blinding yellow shirt that usually provides a smile.

"Nicola, your results were...inconclusive," her voice comes out hushed, her eyes darting around the room, "you knew what was happening during the simulation?"

I stare at her, everything my parents warned me of is coming true. I feel my throat tightening, I open my mouth but no words manage to force themselves out. The woman takes this as a yes, "you had an aptitude for three factions." Three! The woman takes my silence as a reason to continue on, "you had an aptitude for Erudite, Abnegation, and Dauntless...You realize that this is very dangerous...You are something different, called Divergent. It means you can't be controlled under simulation, you are unable to

I manage to whisper a continue. She takes my hand, "I will put the data into the system as Dauntless, manually enter your results and excuse it as falling sick from the process. Listen, this is dangerous." I know. "Deadly, even. Do not tell anyone your results. Please, just...try to go somewhere safe. If you are found out...just stay safe, okay?"

I manage to nod my head, she squeezes my arm, "you are dismissed."

I sprint out the room and run as fast as possible to the tracks. I was supposed to wait for Jax and Willow, but the fear that is pumping through my veins is overriding any other thoughts. I pull myself into the train and lay my head against the floor of the train. I won't cry, I am paralyzed with fear, I won't cry.

I'm actually Divergent. I could be dead because of it. Should I switch to Abnegation? My grandparents are there, they would make sure I was safe.

I kept denying it for the past few months since Mom talked to me about being Divergent and Daddy told me that I could be killed for it. I didn't want to believe that it would happen to me. Will it happen to Noah?

My fear for myself melts into a real fear for Noah, I shake those thoughts of Abnegation from my mind. I have to stay in Dauntless, to keep him safe. If I was Divergent and both our parents are Divergent it is almost guaranteed that Noah will be too. I have to stay in Dauntless and survive in Dauntless. I have to keep him safe, he is going to need someone there to watch out for him, that is my job as his big sister. I hear a soft thud, my eyes flash open, I look up to see Jax tossing on the black shirt he carries in his bag. He lays down next to me, "how did it go?"

I remember the woman telling me not to share my results, but I also know that I can trust Jax. Maybe he can help me come to a decision, "inconclusive."

"You too?"

I sit up, eyes wide, "what factions?"

"Can't say, but I think you rubbed off on me, since I did some not very peaceful things. As a matter of fact, I was quite Dauntless."

He just told me what he got an aptitude for without saying. "What about you?"

"I thought everything out, was brave when needed, and was willing to sacrifice myself in some instances."

He nods, "do you know what you will choose?"

"Dauntless, that was never going to change. I had doubts and considered switching briefly, but I can't. I have to be there for Noah."

Jax smiles, "that's the right thing to do."

I take his hand, "Jax, tomorrow don't switch for me okay? I want you to be somewhere that you will be happy."

He stares at me, "Nicola..."

"Don't fight me, okay? We have been dating for months, and we both knew it would come to an end when this happened, so tomorrow, I don't want you to switch for me. Switch where you will be happy."

"Your Abnegation is showing."

I smile, "I need to get home, I have a lot to think about."

"I thought you weren't switching."

"I'm not but I do need to think about the inconclusive results I received." I feel some panic in my chest, Jax squeezes my hand. "I will see you tomorrow?"

"Maybe, I don't know if we will see each other given how much pressure is on us when it's our choosing day."

I pull Jax to me, the pressure of his lips on mine, the tantalizing sensation of his hands on my waist, how my thoughts flutter away with the electricity sparking between the two of us.

"I needed to do that one last time, Jax."

He smiles, "I love you."

I blink a few times, "what?"

"I love you."

I feel a few tears, "I...I l-love you too...Jax, goodbye?"

"Yeah, goodbye." Jax wraps his arms around me, I let myself rest in his chest, and for a moment pretend that maybe we live in a world were we can be together without having to leave the worlds we have come to love. I give him one last kiss and jump off the train and into the compound.

I step into the house and haven't ever felt so alone in my whole life.

* * *

><p>I hear my name, <em>Eaton, Nicola. <em>

I walk to the bowls, press the knife in the palm of my hand, so deeply that I wince from the pain. My steps are sure, I don't turn to look into the crowd, I stay focused. I move past the grey stones, now dull red water, and glass speckled with blood without even a second glance. I slow as I pass the mound of soil, thinking of the one boy I have ever fallen for. I would be safe there, I could live there with him. My parents would understand.

Noah.

My brother's soft smile and deep dark blue eyes make me push ahead to the burning coals, I take one last breath and glance back to the soil. I have to put my family first. My happiness comes second to their safety. I move my hand out and hear my blood splash against the fire of Dauntless. The screams and yells of my family and friends, gives me a small smile. I walk back to my place with the group of howling 16 year old teenagers clad in black. A slightly small group of transfers stand behind us, not participating in our cries of joy, but eyes shifting at each of us wondering if this was the right choice. Willow hugs me, "you made the right choice, Nikki."

I grin at her, until I hear his name. I turn and stare as he approaches the bowls, like me he moves past Abnegation, Candor, and Erudite. I watch him near the bowl of soil, _do__ it, Jax, be with your family. I love you, I want you safe. Safety is in Amity. _He takes a glance the burning coals, the blood in his hand drips onto the ground, staining his red shirt, he takes one glance back at the crowd of us. His eyes catch on what I assume must be his family, then it moves to the Dauntless. His eyes catch onto mine, I give him my most reassuring smile, hoping he will make the decision that will make him happy.

His hand stretches out between Amity and Dauntless. I hold my breath and shut my eyes, a part of me hoping he chooses Dauntless the other half wanting him to be safe in Amity. When I open my eyes, I see his blood fall.

It sizzles, hitting the yellow and red embers.

Dauntless, Jax chose me over his family and safety.

Dauntless erupts in more screams, the victory of claiming another transfer. Not very many transfer from Amity, as a matter of fact I'm not sure anyone ever has.

Jax walks right up to me, I release a breath, "Jax, I told you to choose were you would be happy."

"I'm happy with you."

I smile, "welcome to Dauntless."

"That's not a proper welcome."

I turn my head to the side in confusion, "what do you mean?"

"I'll tell you later."

Everything moves fast, our steps pound down the steps as we run across the field, the freeing feeling of knowing I am forever Dauntless, forever brave and strong, giving me a new sense of happiness. Knowing I share this new world with Jax, makes me smile just a tad bit wider. I get into the train, Jax closely behind me. After the months we spent on here, he got in with ease. Earning the approval of many of the Dauntless-born. Cam, Willow's boyfriend, hugs her and me, then turns to Jax. "I'm Cam, and you are?"

"Jax..." He seems to be struggling about his last name, which I understand. You don't want to forever be associated with Amity, Mom goes by Tris or Six depending on who is speaking to her. And Daddy is simple called Four. I hope to have a low amount of fears to earn a similar number for my nickname. I pull Jax aside, "want a new name, Jax?"

He smiles, "I figure this is a new start, a new me, why not get a new name."

"What are you thinking?"

"I don't know."

I tap my chin, "what's your favorite color?"

"Red."

I frown, "like Amity red?"

"No like...when I was younger I had a toy car. It was red, it was a red Ferrari."

"Ferrari, that sounds cool, it's a little long though."

"So we can shorten it a bit."

I nod, "okay, so?"

"Fera. Jax Fera, how does that sound?"

"Very Dauntless."

Uncle Uriah is the one escorting us to the compound, he turns and yells against the wind, "Listen up! It's time to jump!"

Jax's eyes are huge, "jump like off the train?"

"Onto the roof," I squeeze his hand, and run out the train with Willow. Jax lands next to me, wincing from his bloodied hands. I take them and look over his palms, "I will get something for that, when we get down."

"Get down? How do I get down, Nicola?"

"Jump off the building."

"I must really love you, this is insane."

I laugh as Uncle Uriah stands on the edge of the building, he fakes falling and a few transfers scream. Willow and I just laugh. "Who wants to jump first."

I push Jax to the front, "just enjoy the rush of being free," I whisper in his ear. Jax loosens his collar and steps forward. Uncle Uriah grins and steps aside allowing Jax the room to jump. He steps on the edge and looks down, he turns to me and gives an uneasy smile. He jumps down, I head a few shouts from the bottom. Uncle Uriah glances at us, "who is next?"

I take Willow's hand, pull us to the front, "see you down there, Uncle." The two of us jump into the air. Laughter overtaking both of us, I fall into the net shaking from laughter. Daddy pulls Willow out, then me, he breaks into a smile. "Welcome Dauntless, baby girl."

I hug him, "thanks Daddy." I turn to see Jax standing to the side, I run to him and hug him. I can hear Daddy talking to Mom.

Mom approaches us, "Nikki, who is your friend?"

"Mom, this...this is Jax."

Mom smiles at Jax and looks to me, "let's hope your father doesn't kill him during initiation."

"Kill me?" Jax looks worried, I break into a grin.

"Welcome to Dauntless."

* * *

><p><strong>Its not edited, sorry, but I hope you enjoy. It's not my best...I apologize for that, you guys deserve better. Sorry if its too long. <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**So I bought my tickets for the MIDNIGHT Premiere! Anyone else way excited? I'm going as Tris, I'm even putting on the tattoos she has! I AM SO EXCITED! Guys I have had some serious writer's block, I have had such a hard time getting updates in this past week and I have been SUPER busy. But we are back on track now, so I apologize. **

**By the way (I swear this wasn't on purpose, this was pure irony) I am updating my Divergent fics and I am in pajama pants my Dauntless T-shirt...talk about coincidence!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

Jax stares at his plate unsure of the burger sitting on it, "so what happens after this, Nicola?"

I look over from the mountain of macaroni and cheese in my bowl, "well you are shown to your dorm and you have today to learn where everything is in the Pit." My parents sit down across from us and I can see that Mom made Daddy come over here and get acquainted with Jax. Daddy keeps looking around for a reason to go, but Mom keeps flashing him a sideways glare to stay put.

I clear my throat, "Jax, let me formally introduce you to my parents."

Mom smiles and stretches her hand to him, "I'm Six." She looks at Daddy and nudges him with her elbow.

He doesn't offer to shake Jax's hand, but crosses his arm and stares at him for a moment, "I'm Four." Even though Daddy has this detached and intimidating feeling towards Jax, I find myself smiling. Daddy has this cold look on his face, one that I have come to know as his other personality. Daddy is a father all the time, and sometimes his father personality blends into the fun and daring friend he is with people like Zeke and Uriah. And on rare occasions, such as this, Daddy becomes Four, the calculated, fearless, and quite intimidating Dauntless prodigy. He doesn't smile, he doesn't laugh, he keeps his face void of many emotions, and he almost always has this relaxed scowl. It has scared the other initiates for years. He would take me with him when I was a young child to watch his initiates fight and throw knives. I would sit on the floor and watch him teach these scrawny kids with blank eyes and terrified stares to throw knives into targets, and then for a brief moment Daddy would turn to me and give me this crooked smile and wink at me. Like he needed to remind me that the man I just watched effortlessly pin a knife into what would be the skull of a person was still the father who spun me around in a circle like I could fly before bed. For as long as I can remember I would watch him transform into this other person, this brave and fearless man, and it always awed me. I looked at him like he was an entirely different being, like nothing could conquer him, and I looked forward to seeing that person when it was my own Initiation. People used to stop me when I was little, when I walked around the Pit with Mom, they would stop and stoop to my level and say, "you are one lucky kid to have the two prodigies of Dauntless as your parents," or "you are lucky Four and Six are your parents, I bet you will rank first." It always made me smile, like I was something really special because of who they were and even now, despite how Daddy is glaring into Jax, I feel special, like I should be excelling in every single aspect of initiation.

Daddy finally looks at me, "the two of you finish up, it's time to go to your dorms."

I smile and slide the rest of my mac n' cheese to Noah who has begun to toss his peas and carrots into his cup. I stand up and turn to Jax, "I will see you later, okay? I think I'm in a different dorm than you."

"Most definitely." Daddy looks at me, "you are in very different dorms, on opposing sides, far, far, far, far away from each other." Daddy tosses his arm over my shoulder, "let's get you set up for Initiation, Nikki." He leads me out to the chasm and pulls me to the hidden path him and Mom usually go to in order to be alone, unseen and unheard. Mom showed me how to get there when she talked to me about growing into womanhood, it was a sweet gesture, to take me somewhere that only the two of us could talk and no one would know. Especially since I was terrified I would die soon because I was bleeding internally and because I felt ashamed that I had freaked out and had no idea what was happening.

Daddy sits on a flat rock, the chasm splashing cold water on the tips of his shoes, "Nicola, let's talk about your test."

Resting my elbows on my knees, I stare at the water moving below me, "it was inconclusive."

"Inconclusive." He sighs, "did they tell you what factions?"

"Dauntless, Abnegation, Erudite."

He gets this quirky-kinda half smile, "same aptitude as your mother."

"Really?"

"Yeah, that was what her test said too. Listen to me, I will be doing the simulations for Initiation so you don't have to worry about anyone finding out about your Divergence. When you go through your fear landscape you won't have to be careful because they are meant for you to be aware while in there. I want you to try not to draw attention to yourself."

I nod, "alright, but I will rank first, and I will have between one and six fears."

"Nikki, I don't think that qualifies as _not _drawing attention to yourself."

I shrug, "no one would think anything of it, honestly. Daddy, you and Mom are the best Dauntless has, I think if I ranked anything less than first and had more than six fears it would draw attention to me."

"I guess I didn't consider it on those terms. I want you to listen to Mom and I, okay? We will know if you are sending off any clues as to being Divergent. Keep it a secret, don't tell anyone."

I lean my head back and let my feet dangle over the edge of the rock, my ankles being sprayed with cold icy water, "what do you think of Jax."

"I'm not sure how he will handle the emotional part of Initiation being from Amity-"

"Daddy, you know what I mean. I mean what do you think of him as a _person not an initiate."_

"He is tall, a little scrawny and thin-"

I giggle, "_Daddy, _be_ serious. _Do you _like _him? Mom likes him, and he is really quite sweet."

"I thought you were just friends."

"We...we are, I just..."

"Really? Because 'just friends' don't leave behind their family and faction for another friend. Anything to say to that, Nikki?"

I bite my lip, "you see...our friendship might have...gotten more...serious as of late."

I can tell he is thinking about what I've said because he let's out this small growl, "I don't approve or agree, because I don't think any boy will be good enough for you...But if I find out he so much as looked at you the wrong way or he hurts you in anyway, he ends up at the bottom of this chasm."

Ordinarily I would frown and ask him to be nice, but I realize the love behind the words and I give Daddy the tightest hug I can manage, "I love you Daddy. Can you please just promise me two things?"

"Depends on what I am promising you."

"Okay," I sling my arms around his neck, like I did when I was little and rest my head on his shoulder, "1) you don't try to kill him during Initiation and 2) just...try to be nice and get to know him. He is an amazing person and he reminds me a lot of you. Isn't that a good thing?"

"That's what scares me."

I laugh, "really?"

"I got your mother pregnant with you at 16, the idea that he is a lot like me scares me."

I make a gagging noise, "ew, please don't mention the words Mom, pregnant, and you in the same sentence. It messes with my head and those are thoughts you can ever unthink. It's gross enough when you guys are all touchy."

Daddy smiles and stands, offering me his hand, "let's get you all settled in, baby girl." He pinches my cheek, "you are just growing up so fast. It seems like a few weeks ago I was taking your Mom to get a check up and got the surprise that I was getting you, and a few days ago it feels like I was bringing you home and changing your diapers," Daddy get's this reminiscent look on his face and blinks a few times, I wonder if he was about to cry, "I remember when you said your first word, which was Daddy, might I add. And when I taught you how to ride a bike, I had saved up a little bit each months trying to get the bike you wanted, it was black and pink with a matching helmet and knee and elbow pads. Once I remember you asking me to teach you how to shoot a gun and we hid it from your Mom for months until you came home with a bruise on your arm from falling down from the recoil." He pulls me into a tight hug and kisses my temple, "I love you so much, baby girl, so so much. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

* * *

><p>I drop a small duffel bag that Mom prepared for me on the bottom bunk of one of the beds, "Willow you can take the top bunk."<p>

Willow frowns, "I want the bottom."

"Why?"

"I want to be close to Cam, he is on the bottom bunk across from me."

I roll my eyes and toss my bag up top, "fine, but it's only because the top bunk is more Dauntless than the bottom."

I climb to the top and look through the bag and find a note from Mom wishing me luck and a piece of cake in a plastic container. I pull the drawstring and close the bag and jump off the top bunk. "Ready to go to the Pit?"

Willow stops in her tracks, "we have to take Jax shopping!"

"Willow, I highly doubt he wants to shop."

"He can't walk around in red all day, he needs some Dauntless clothes."

"Okay, let's get it done with. Then, we go to the tattoo parlor."

"Tattoo parlor? Nicola Beatrice are you asking to put a permanent design of ink on your body?" She gasps and giggles at me.

"Come on, Tori will do it for me." I drag Willow to the Transfers' dorm and swing the door open. Already it seems as though the cliques have formed between them. It always intrigued me how they stayed with a small group and never strayed from it, except Mom and Daddy who made friends with Dauntless-Borns, which was rare since we stay fairly divided until the Initiation Ceremony and ranks are announced. That's when we openly associate with each other since the Transfers are recognized as official members of Dauntless. I scan the room to see Jax talking with another boy, I walk up to Jax and tap him on the shoulder, "you need new clothes."

The boy gapes at us, "you know a Dauntless-Born?"

Jax smiles, "as a matter of fact I do." He bids the boy goodbye and follows us to the Pit. Willow and I break into a sprint along the shallow paths, but soon realize from Jax's slow and cautious pace we will need to take our time. "Nicola, you shouldn't do that, what if you fall?"

I smile, "here in Dauntless we aren't _afraid _of falling."

"Okay, good to know. So where to first?"

Willow drags us into a store and pulls all kinds of shirts and jeans off hangers and shows them off to Jax, I use my credit to pay for it, since Mom makes sure I have enough to shop with my friends. "Willow, tattoo time...Jax you don't have to get one, I want one though."

"No, I might as well go all out and get a tattoo now that I'm here."

We walk to the shop and I ask for Tori, knowing she will give me the tattoo since she gave one to my parents during their own Initiation. Tori smiles at me, "I didn't think your mom and dad would let you get one."

"They don't know."

"And you expect me to give you the tattoo knowing this information."

"Tori, please? I just want to do one reckless and rebellious thing for once in my life?" Excluding my relationship with Jax of course, but that counts under my rational and necessary recklessness category. She shakes her head, "Tori, please, I really really really want this!" Tori has always had a soft spot for me, I give her my best pity face and she cracks.

Tori gives me a smirk, "alright get in the chair, kid. But if your parents come in here angry because I said yes, you take the blame."

"I would expect nothing less." I sit in the chair and give Jax a thumbs up as Tori begins to set out the needle.

"What are we doing today, Miss Nicola?"

I smile, "I want the faction symbols down my back, like my father has on his back. And I want four crows along my collar bone, like my mother. And lastly, I want an anchor behind my ear," I move my hair, "and on the shank of the anchor, you know the long part, I want Noah's name."

Tori lifts an eyebrow, "okay, I have to say I was expecting you to ask for something small like I don't know your name on your wrist or something."

"No, I want all of them." I close my eyes and let Tori work ink into my skin.

* * *

><p>I take the cream and try not to move to much since the bandaging feels weird on my skin. I wait for Jax while Willow gets each member of her family's names tattooed on her upper arm.<p>

Jax walks out with a grin plastered to his face. I smile, "what did you get?"

"I will show you later."

He sits down next to me, "did it hurt for you?"

I shake my head, "my torso was on fire, it was tantalizing honestly. It was the most exhilarating feeling, the pain was kind of freeing."

Jax stares at me, "you were meant for Dauntless let me tel you that much. What did you get?"

"A lot of tattoos."

"How many?"

I count my fingers, "3 groups of tattoos, two of the groups had a lot of parts."

"Really, what did you get on your collar bone?" He points to the bandage over me.

"I got four crows. Mom has three on her collarbone, for the three members of her family she left when she switched here."

"And what do your four crows mean?"

I blush a little, "I got one for Daddy, one for Mom, one for my brother, Noah, and one for you."

Jax gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, "I would love to really kiss you, but I don't think your father would like that."

"Smart move, he would sense something and then you would have to run for your life." I try to keep a smile on my face, but the thought of not being able to show my affection for Jax in public turns my smile upside down.

Willow bursts through the curtains, "I'm done! Let's go to the chasm, I need to feel that cold rush of water. It's refreshing."

I walk down the Pit and lean against the chasm with Jax on my right and Willow to my left. "I'm going to rank first, Willow."

Willow smiles, "I know you will, because ever since we could walk you were told you would and you are determined to rank first. I want to rank right after you, though. We both know I will be amazing at everything physical and in my fear landscape, since I can get my heart rate steady...But my parents recognize that I won't handle the fear simulations well."

I nod, Willow doesn't handle being in a panicked state very well. I used to think there are two responses that a person can have when faced with being in a high pressure situation. Fight or flight, like the person will either deal with the situation or they will run from it. Willow has created a third response that involved hyperventilation, shaking, and a serious temper problem. Once she and I were walking to the train after school and my foot got caught in the railing, in that moment she had two ways to respond. Help me and deal with the situation or run away. Instead she started breathing heavy and shaking and then yelled at me every time I offered a suggestion of how to get my foot from the railing so I won't lose my leg to the oncoming train. It took Cam and one of our other Dauntless friends to pull my foot free, I kept the one shoe I walked away with after that. As a reminder of the day I could very well have lost a leg. I can only imagine how she will handle the fear simulation, which is a whole new kind of high pressure situation.

Jax looks around, "I should head back to the dorm, I need to get some sleep. Unlike the two of you this whole thing is new to me and I want to be well rested, not to mention that your father is my instructor. So I should over sleep a bit." He winks at me and gives me the world's fastest kiss.

"I expect to see some tattoos tomorrow," I yell after him. I turn to Willow and let out a small sigh, "what do we do now?"

Willow looks into the chasm, "I think that we should go show my dad the tattoo I got."

"Okay, you think he will be okay with it?"

"He told me that I could have some fun when Initiation started, so I think it will be fine."

We walk to her family's door and knock, Aunt Mar opens up and embraces Willow in a tight hug, "I just can't believe you are getting so big." Then she pulls me into a hug and lets us in. I hear some laughter, deep and rumbling mixed with soft and light, I stop in my tracks. My parents are here. Why are they here?

"Willow, I should go." I begin to back away, but Aunt Mar catches me and pulls me forward, "come on, you two." I pull my shirt up higher to cover the bandage over my collar bone and let my hair cover the small bandage behind my ear.

I see Uncle Uriah, Mom, and Daddy looking over the things for Initiation. Of course, they need to start looking things over and make sure they have a plan. Uncle Uriah turns to us, Willow smiles, "do you want to see my tattoo Dad?" She peels off the bandage and applies some of the creme that was hidden somewhere in the giant purse that seems to be bottomless based off the number of things she pulls out and that half her closet has been stuffed in there. He looks over the names and smiles, "I think it's very sweet.''

I purposely stare into the wall past my parents, feeling their eyes rove over me looking for any sigh that I too got a tattoo. Uriah looks at me, "you get one too?"

I don't answer at first, since I am not an expert at lying in front of my parents, "no." Mom walks towards me and inspects me.

"Nice try, Nikki. I can see the edge of a bandage."

I let out a strangled groan and Mom looks to Daddy, "what did you get?" Mom asks.

"Some crows on my collar bone."

"That's it? Because if you did anything more than that, I recommend you tell us now, since that would be in your benefit."

I look between them, their serious tone and firmly set face tells me that they are not happy. I weigh my options, if I tell them about all the tattoos, I will be in a lot of trouble, but if I lie and they find out I will be in a ton of trouble. Plus, I hate lying to them, they haven't ever made me distrust them and I want them to accept Jax. Which means I need to be honest with them and make sure I keep their trust. They trust me, they trust Jax.

I move my hair back and let them see the bandage behind my ear, "it's an anchor, with Noah's name in it..." I roll up the back of my shirt, "and I got the faction's down my back."

Daddy nods, "thank you for your honesty. We will discuss this later, I figured you would be honest with us. Especially since your Uncle Uriah saw the three of you in the shop and it didn't take much for Tori to tell us what you got."

My jaw drops, "you knew I got these?"

Mom raises an eyebrow, "I have eyes everywhere, Nicola."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, if it sucks, I just have had some serious writers block and have been way busy. <strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the long wait for updates. I just have had a lot on my plate as of late, and I also am revising one of my other Divergent fics. I love it way more now, but that took a while. **

**By the way, okay so one of my best friends, Lucy, realized that Tris has FOUR letters and Tobias has SIX letters...:) Fourtris forever!**

**FOR YOUR PATIENCE I GRANT YOU A SPECIAL GIFT!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8 <strong>

The sound of the other initiates sleeping keeps me awake. I listen to the sounds of their light snores and the loud snore coming below me from Willow. I curl up in my blanket and try to focus on falling asleep, tomorrow my mind and body will be pushed to its breaking point I need the rest. I shut my eyes tighter and as sleep begins to set in so does the fact that Jax has switched to Dauntless. For me. What if he hates it here? What if he doesn't pass initiation? Daddy is one of the leaders now after Max got too old and he worked hard to allow the new initiates the right to stay here in Dauntless, no matter how badly they go through initiation. Rank is still important, and passing initiation means you can choose your job. If you don't pass you don't choose. I know I will pass, I have determined that for myself when I was a small child, besides it's vital that I act just like everyone expects. I need to keep my family safe.

My fingers brush along the four birds flying across my collarbone, my tattoos are still a bit sore, but the cream Tori gave me helped a lot. I turn to the side and stare at the wall, I hope Jax likes it here. This is my home, I love it here, I just can't help but hope he does too. He is here in my home with me, I should try to make it as welcoming and as smooth a transition is possible.

I smile, Jax is here with me. We can be _together. _Not in secret anymore, either, we can be open about it. We don't have to change our clothes to look Amity or Dauntless. I don't have to lie and manipulate my grandparents and Uncle Caleb. I close my eyes and force my thoughts to silence and a dreamless sleep consumes me.

* * *

><p>I shake Willow's arm, "wake up, Willow. Your dad won't hesitate to dunk your head in ice water to get you up. He has done it before, twice actually."<p>

Willow turns and mumbles something in her sleep, I turn to Cam, "you know what, she is your girlfriend why don't you wake her up?"

Cam laughs, "you are her best friend, it's your job by default."

"Willow, please wake up, we have two minutes to be in the training room and you haven't even brushed your teeth." I groan and decide that this requires drastic measures, I grab two fistfuls of the sheets and yank them up rolling Willow onto the floor. Her body slams into the ground and as she pops her head up to see what is going on, I recognized that I might have unleashed a monster. Her eyes are blood red, her hair a tangled blonde mess, and the bags under her eyes seem to be the warning signs of a girl who is not, in fact, a morning person.

Willow glares at me and stands tall, "who. Did. That?"

"Cam, your lovely boyfriend." I turn on my heel and sprint out the room before either one of them can stop me. I bound into the training room and stand in line while Uncle Uriah and Eric stand before us. Eric's eyes tear at each of us, measuring our potential, ready to rip us apart. He eyes me and steps a few inches from my small frame, my nose level with his chest, his boots squeak as he steps back and crosses his arms, "I almost forgot this was your choosing year, Nikki."

"It is." I keep my voice bored, cold, and nonchalant, a tone I learned Daddy uses when dealing with Eric. Anything else he takes as weakness or fear of him.

"Your parents must expect good things from you, Stiff."

I straighten at the name, "I'm not a _Stiff."_

"Your mother was, and your father, what does his name start with again-"

I whip my head up at Eric and cross my arms, "I'm not a Stiff for the last time. I'm a Dauntless-Born just like everyone else."

"That's right, you are."

I roll my eyes, "are you going to teach us something or just stand around and prey on a small little girl?" I snap.

Eric cocks his eyebrows at me, "you are one tough cookie, like your mother." He says it with this odd distaste in his voice, like there is some bittersweet memory with the thought of my mother. Daddy said that Eric took Mom as his own achievement whenever she stood up to him and proved brave and courageous. Maybe he plans to do the same with me. Eric paces in front of the other initiates and begins to tell us about our training. I wonder if Jax had a smoother morning than me.

* * *

><p><strong>Jax POV<strong>

At the sound of shuffling across the floor I wake up. In Amity we would still be asleep. I don't understand why they want us awake so early. The guy on the bunk above me cried all night, I was about ready to go up there and punch him myself. He chose to switch here, he needs to shut up and deal with that decision. After getting ready, I move to the training room. Yesterday, Six said she was covering for our trainer while he took care of some personal business. I wonder who this guy is. Everyone seems terrified of him, but I highly doubt he can be more intimidating than Four.

I stand in a line with the other Transfers, waiting for this instructor. The door swings open, and he enters. I'm dead.

_I am going to die on my first day of Initiation. _

_I wonder if I will receive a funeral service. Maybe they will just dump my body into the chasm. I wonder who will speak on behalf of my now beaten, bloody, and wet body floating away. _

Four turns and grins at us, it's this twisted, dark smirk that sends horrifying chills down my spine. He looks at each of us and then sees me. He smiles a little wider.

_I bet right now he is mentally imagining snapping my body in half. _

"I am Four. Your initiation instructor."

A Candor raises his hand, "wait like the number."

Four's steps are heavy. When I was 12 I fell from a tree and broke my arm, the sound was sickening and to this day I turn green at the sound of breaking celery. Four's footsteps are so clipped and heavy, so much like my broken bone, I might just throw up right now.

_You are in over your head, Jax. You may be Dauntless when it comes to the knife in your Aptitude test, but this right here, is the ultimate test of bravery. _

_And you, Jax Fera, are failing it. _

Four crosses his arms and looks over the Candor, "you have a problem with that, Candor?"

"N-No."

"Good. For those of you who don't know, I don't want to hear your opinions or thoughts. If I wanted to be around a bunch of Candor-smart mouths, arrogant Erudites, or chipper Amity, I would not be here. Do I make myself clear?"

Murmured yeses seem answer enough. He paces in front of us, "there are three stages to Initiation. Physical, Mental, and Emotional. You will be ranked, you are ranked with the Dauntless-Borns. You train separately for the Physical stage of initiation after that you train together. Your ranks determine if you get to choose your job and if you are high enough in ranking you get to choose which job you get. I give orders here, not you. Keep your mouths shut, eyes open, and don't ever step out of line. Today, we fight." Four steps into the sparring mat in front of us, "I will show you a few basic techniques, then you will try them on your own punching bag." His eyes skirt around us and he finally lands on me, "Amity get up here."

I take a deep breath and walk to the mat.

Here comes my execution.

I imagine how no one will find my body, how I will just vanish into thin air, I shudder and try to focus, my knuckles flushed white from the lack of circulation in my body. I am rigid, my body straight and tall, each movement cold and robotic.

I am going to die.

He steps back and shows me a few punches and kicks that make my mouth go dry. He could knock me out, snap my neck.

"You try."

I nod and try my best to recreate the moves I was shown. Four turns to everyone else, "to your punching bags now!"

The transfers scramble to the bags and I make my way to the one closest to me, I attempt to recreate the moves. My eyes trailing Four as he stops and makes observations, when he walks to me, I swallow the lump sitting in my throat.

"You know, Jax," He steps towards me, "my wife and daughter told me not to kill you and to try and be nice."

Thank God, I think to myself. "That was nice of them." I say, my voice coming out much stronger than I expected.

I swallow and raise mine. I'm a tall guy, maybe an inch or so shorter than Four. I go running with my cousins in Amity, so I'm not too thin and weak. I have some muscle, but its lean and made for endurance not a fight.

I'm a runner by trade. Runners don't fight. They run from fights.

Four stops and adjusts my arms, "keep focused. Don't leave any weaknesses. You're an athletic build, but not a bulky one. You need to play on your strengths. Judging by your physique make fast, calculated movements. Use your speed."

Did he just give me advice? Sound advice, at that?

"Yes, sir."

Four gives me a small smirk, "I like that...Keep saying Sir and maybe I won't kill you just yet." Four leans forward and drops his voice to a threatening and eerie whisper, "if I find out you lay a hand on my daughter in any way, if I find out that you break her heart, if I find out you so much as looked at her in a way I disapprove of I will make sure you end up at the bottom of that chasm and no one will ever know how or why you ended up there but you and I. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir." I would never hurt Nicola, I wish I could tell him that. I wish he could see how much I love her and maybe I could survive to visiting day and introduce her to my parents.

He pats my back, although it stings and is more like a hard slap that made my entire rib cage shake, "I'm glad to know that you and I are on the same page." Four moves onto the next Transfer. The door opens and Six smiles at Four and then waves at me.

I wonder how the two of them ended up together? Six seems much nicer than Four, not to mention she is much smaller than him too. Six walks to me and grasps my arm, "he hasn't tried to kill you has he?"

"No, ma'am."

"Don't call me ma'am, that's so...old. Call me Six, okay? Why don't you join us for dinner today? Just the three of us, Nikki will be training with Willow more than likely. Besides you need to meet the rest of the family, I promise they aren't as...serious as Four is."

"Thank you, Six."

She adjusts my arms and smiles one last time.

I wonder if maybe Six's approval of me will be enough to ensure I don't end up dead by the end of the day.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Jax POV**

The chasm sprays water against the railing, I glance around waiting for Six. I've decided that I need to work on being authoritative, less Amity and more Dauntless. I'm Divergent, I can fit in here. I just need to focus, maybe pick up on whatever habits that Four has which make him so intimidating. "Jax?"

I turn, Six waves me over with a small baby boy on her hip. I try to conceal my aching muscles moving towards her, "Four worked you hard today, huh?"

"Somewhat."

Six laughs,"I was always sore during Initiation. You all have it easier too, when I was an initiate we had to rank in the top 10 in order to even stay here. Fall anywhere below the tenth ranking and you were in the Factionless. Four worked us hard so we could pass Initiation."

"What did you rank? Four was your instructor?"

"I ranked first. And yes, it was a bit of a... forbidden romance." The little boy on her hip reaches towards me, "this is Noah, Nicola's little brother."

I wave hello, "thank you for inviting me to dinner."

"You're welcome, you have fantastic manners, Jax. I like that, so please tell me about yourself."

"Not much to say, Six." I keep my statements, short, clipped similar to the boys I have met here.

Six smiles at me, "open up. You are dating my daughter, I think I should know something about you, don't you think?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Let's start small, what is your full name?"

"Jax Robert Fera."

"See we are finally getting somewhere, come on, we don't want to keep everyone else waiting for dinner. The family is just dying to meet you."

"Is your family big?"

Six laughs, "not particularly, but they tend to keep things loud and lively."

"That seems normal in Dauntless, Six." The loud noise from the large opening in the Pit distracts me along with the smell of food. It hasn't taken long to get used to the enormous variety of foods here in Dauntless.

"You get used to it and then it becomes a comfort, I know things are light and lively in Amity."

"In a different way, the Amity are loud in a 'grab your banjo and sing your life' kind of way."

Six steers me to a table filled with people. For such a small woman she is surprisingly strong, guess that's why she ranked first. She pushes me down into a seat and slides in across from me. I turn to see I'm next to a tall woman with blonde hair, "I'm Marlene. You must be Jax."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Marlene, call me Marlene. I'm Nikki's aunt."

"Nice to meet you, Marlene."

I see a small group of older men approach us, they come into focus, Four sets his tray down and glances across the table, "what's the Amity doing here?"

Six faces him, "leave _Jax _alone. I invited him to have dinner with us, maybe you should be more approachable, _Four." _Her voice is stern, chastising, she must be quite a powerful woman to speak to Four in such a tone. My mother spoke to my father in that way too, maybe it's just a voice wives use with their husbands. A tanned older man laughs, "there is a 'banjo strummin' softy here'!"

Marlene laughs and glances at me, "no one says that anymore, Uriah."

The man extends his hand across the table, "names Uriah, and you must be the Amity."

"Jax." I offer a small nod and shake his hand. Six stands and motions to everyone at our table, "everyone I would like you to meet, Jax. Jax this is Shauna," she motions to a woman, "Zeke, Uriah's older and shorter brother," she points to a man who clearly looks related to Uriah. "Lynn," I almost gape at Lynn who has half her head shaved completely bald. Six smiles at me and motions to a blue eyed man who smiles at me, "I'm Will and this is my lovely wife, Christina." Christina smiles and shakes my hand also. "Jax this is everyone. I think, it's possible I missed a few. But for right now this is everyone you need to know."

"It is nice to meet all of you." I give them a smirk and after a moment decide to get some food. I look at everything in front of me, whatever happened to fruits and vegetables? I finally choose on my dinner and slip back into my seat. I wonder what Nicola is doing right now? Is she sore? Tired? Thinking about me?

A pair of hands cover my eyes, "miss me?" Soft lips tickle my ear, "I'm going to take that smile as a yes."

"Nicola." I feel myself relax at the sound of her voice,

She removes her hands and squeezes onto the edge of the seat next to me, "how has your day been?"

"Tiring."

"Mine too, you met the family, I see."

"Yes, I did. How was your day?"

"Tiring, too." Nicola picks up one of my fries, "you don't mind, if I steal this from you?"

"You already stole my heart." I state, being romantic is not a trait I normally possess. Nicola gives me a smile. She is not the first girl to capture my attention, but she is the first one who has me wrapped around her finger, she keeps me hanging onto every word she says. She brings out this softer and romantic side to me I had no idea existed until she came into my life.

Nicola stands abruptly, "come on, I want you to meet my friends." She turns to Four and gives him a hug, Four stares at me with a glare. That must be his warning not to hurt her while we are gone with her friends. I wouldn't hurt Nicola, ever. I take her hand and she leads me to a couple stores in the pit, "I think you should get a tattoo."

"I don't know, Nicola."

"Would you like to see mine? Maybe that will help you make a decision." She darts into a hallway, with a series of blue lights casting an eerie shadow onto her face. "I can only let you see two of them."

"Oh?"

She blushes and flits her eyes from me, "would you like to see the two?"

"Sure."

Nicola moves her hair off her shoulder and points to four ravens along her collar bone, "they lead to my heart. One for each member of my family."

"Why are there four?"

She gets this grin across her face that makes me want to pull her into my arms and kiss her, "well, one is for my Dad, the other for my Mom, this one is for Noah. And the one closest to my heart, is you." Nicola looks up at me, "I hope you like it."

"I love it," I set my hands on her waist and pull her to me, "I think I might even love you." I don't know where that came from.

"You think?" Nicola looks up into my eyes.

"Maybe I don't want to scare you." I smile and lean forward, my lips brushing against hers when I speak.

"Stop teasing me." She smiles, I can feel her arms around my neck now, "you can't scare me. I'm Dauntless."

"Fine, I love you." Nicola pulls her lips to mine. In this brief moment I wonder how Nicola Eaton has somehow snaked her way into my heart. A few oncoming voices breaks us apart, "does that mean you love me back, Nicola?"

She kisses my cheek, "yes, it means I love you."

* * *

><p><strong>Nicola POV<strong>

I walk Jax to his dorm and slip him a quick kiss, "goodnight. I will see you tomorrow, okay." I turn and run towards my dorm with my heart pounding in my ears, Jax is amazing. He makes me feel like I'm dreaming and awake all at once, like I am about to burst into flames, or crumble into a million pieces. He has this hold on me that no one has ever had before. I climb onto the top bunk, humming a song my mother used to sing to me before I would go to bed every night. "your so happy, Nikki."

I look down at Willow, "do you have a problem with that?"

"No of course not," she giggles, "you are just so...sunny is all."

"What does that mean?"

"That's open to interpretation. So how is your prince Charming, Nikki?"

"He is perfect, Mom invited him to dinner. I think everyone liked him."

"Except Uncle Four."

"Daddy just needs time to see how special Jax is. Maybe when Visiting Day comes, if his parents come, Daddy can meet them. I think if he knew that Jax came from a good family he would be more at ease. It's not like he is from Candor or anything, he is form Amity. They seem to raise good kids."

"I wouldn't know, I try to make a point of avoiding Amity. They tend to be fake with their smiles and forced with their help. It makes me feel like I'm talking to someone with a mask on. Jax isn't like that, though, so thats one less thing you have to worry about. did you ask your dad how Jax is doing in Initiation?"

"I can't do that, you know that rankings remain a secret until they are announced at the end of the stages or Eric wants to terrify Transfers by showing how badly they rank in the first few days."

Willow leans against the bed, "did anything happen today?"

"Jax told me he loved me."

"And you wait until now to mention this!" Willow tosses her hair and scowls at me, "I talk to you about being sunny and bubbly and you choose to forget that he said he LOVED you. It took Cam almost a year to say the words, I love you, and you got them after the first day of Initiation."

"We had been together for a while before this, Willow. He just said he loved me today. I mean I knew he loved me, he switched to Dauntless to be with me. He wouldn't have done that if he kind of cared about me."

"True, but still this is an exciting development!"

I crawl into bed, "we will talk about this later Willow, we have to get our sleep."

"I know, thanks by the way for rudely waking me up." I can hear the irritation in her voice.

"My pleasure. Want me to wake you up nicely tomorrow?"

"Nope, this mornings routine worked faster. You always know how to handle me, I swear you read my mind."

I smile, "can I get a thank you for reading your mind, Willow?"

"No, I choose to take our friendship and it's mind reading benefits for granted."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"I would rather not show my appreciation for such an awesome best friend mainly so I don't have to say thank you very often."

Laughing I turn and stare at the wall, "well I consider that a thank you."

"We don't need to say thank you."

I ponder the thought for a while. "You're right, we don't need to say thank you... I already know that I would be lost with my best friend."

"Dido," Willow murmurs. I hear her shift underneath me and I find myself lulled to sleep by the sleeping breaths of my fellow Initiates.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Nicola POV**

My body is heavy and I literally drag myself to the training room, I haven't been this sore in my life. Uriah shows us the list of fights for today, I am up against Cam. I hate that I have to fight my best friend's boyfriend, but I also look forward to the challenge. Uriah paces in front of us explaining how the next stage will work after this and calls us into the ring. I circle Cam and keep on my toes, I am small like Mom, Daddy taught me to attack first, use my elbows and knees. Cam leans back his head and gives me this teasing smile he has used ever since we were small kids, he has always pushed me around because I was smaller than him. Maybe if I had a big brother he would be like Cam. I race forward and elbow him in the gut, he sucks in a breath and goes to punch me in the nose, I shift left and take a few jabs on his jaw. The door swings open and Eric walks in. Cam and I nearly stop our fight.

Whenever Eric enters the room it means that things change, what started out as a fun play-fight between friends is now a bloodbath. Yesterday I fought Willow, it ended in a tie. Neither one of us would concede, but we also wouldn't go to extreme lengths and knock each other out. With Eric here it means someone is going to end up in the infirmary tonight. Cam looks at me and I can see what he wants me to do, Cam is twice my size if he really wanted to he could crush me beneath his foot. He wants to take the hits, not me. Eric looks at us, "what is this? Stop standing around and fight!"

I swallow and take another hit to Cam's side. He avoids it and sends a hit to my torso, I can tell from the force of it that he is going easy on me. Eric waves his hands around and tells us to stop. He wants to see me lose this fight or to beat Cam to a pulp. I would stand up to him, but I heard of what happened to Christina when she spoke up, and I don't want to end up hanging over the chasm. "What is this? Cam you are twice her size, take her out. What kind of Dauntless-born are you?"

There are two ways I can handle this, I can let Cam beat me to a pulp or I can beat him, he is right above Willow in rankings. If he loses it to me it won't change his rank since I am first. "Yeah, Cam. Come at me, I can handle a few punches."

Cam gives me a smirk, "let's put that theory to the test." He kicks me in the gut and I fall to my knees. I scramble up from the mat and slam my elbow into his shoulder and knee him in the gut. Cam coughs and tosses me onto the mat and pins me, I wriggle my knee free and hit him again. The two of us continue to grapple back and forth until Eric seems satisfied with the fact that the two of us won't kill each other for his own sadistic pleasure and Uriah has explained that we don't have all day to watch us spar. Both Cam and I limp from the ring, his nose bloody, me with a bruise on my arm and a small cut on my eye from hitting one of the edges of the ring. Uriah called it a tie and moved onto the next set of fights. Cam and I sit down next to each other and I lay my head on the floor, "I won't be able to walk after this."

"I won't be able to get onto the trains after this."

I laugh, "good fight, Cam. I would have won if we kept going, just to let you know."

He rolls his eyes and takes a swig of water. "I wonder how your boyfriend is fairing."

"I hope he is okay, I have a feeling that his Initiation isn't going to be as smooth as ours is. I will see how badly damaged he is when we get to dinner."

Eric gives a short goodbye speech explaining how we need to learn to fight like Dauntless and finish it off, not dance around the ring. He aimed that at Cam and I. He excuses himself to see the Transfers. My heart sinks, I hope Jax has gotten his fights out of the way. Eric would love to see him get beat to blood and flesh, Daddy wouldn't let that happen. I hope. I turn to Cam, "I really hope Jax survives today."

"For his sake, I hope you are right." Cam takes another drink of water before focusing on the fights in front of us.

* * *

><p><strong>Jax POV<strong>

I toss on my shirt while I listen to the guy on the bunk next to me talk about the girls here in Dauntless. I have to admit, the girls here are more interesting than the ones in Amity, but none of them are like Nicola. I smile at the thought. One of the other guys nods and mentions Four's daughter. I freeze and turn to hear the conversation. It's Burton, one guy here who I can't stand. He comments on how thin she is and what little shape she has, why was he looking at her at all? I set my jaw and clear my throat. He turns to me, "what, Amity?"

"Shut up about my girlfriend."

"Oh so that's why the two of you have been so close? I didn't know you were into little girls."

"Don't talk about her."

Burton walks towards me, "she isn't anything special..." He stays quiet and rubs the stubble on his chin, "although, if you are so possessive of her maybe I am overlooking some possible reasons as to why." He winks at the other guys and I have mentally determined that I will end this boy. I get ready to say something back to him when everyone leaves to the training room.

Four gets ready to call up the next set of fights when Eric slams the door open. Whatever happened earlier today must have him irritated because the look in his eyes is one I haven't seen before. Something wild and dangerous is flickering in his eyes, Four is irritated with seeing Eric in the room. Eric looks over the list for the fights and erases a few names and scribbles a new one in it's place. "Okay, next pair...Burton." Burton is a burly Candor who has won every single fight so far, he is almost as tall as me, but he has a thick and stocky build. I have seen how he fights, he is not fast, but strong and powerful. He could easily pummel anyone of us with as much as a good hit to the jaw. I feel sorry for the guy who has to fight him. Unless that guy is me. Eric looks over the names, "Burton and...Amity. Jax get up here."

I remember my decision. I won't let him win this fight, not after this morning. I make my way to the ring and try and remember the rare and sound advice given to me by Four. I take a glance at him, I bet he is looking forward to watching me get my nose broken and jaw bruised. Burton smirks and raises his fists, I raise mine and move fast. I keep my hits fast and only attack whenever I see an weak area. I miscalculate the space between Burton and I, my fist barely hits his side. Burton slams his elbow into my gut, his fist pounds into my nose a few times. A resounding and sickening cracks echoes throughout the room. I would normally throw up, since the sound of broken bones literally makes me dry-heave, but I am so shocked that the sound came from me that I can't manage to get sick. Something wet and sticky dribbles down my lip and chin. Each movement of my nose hurts enough to make me want to shoot my fist into Burton's nose. I bet my nose is broken. I let the blood drip down my face, grit my teeth, and go full speed into Burton's gut. I tackle him to the ground and sock him in the nose a good couple of times before he can try and wriggle from me. His eyes roll back and I keep slamming my fist into his face. Four pulls me from him and makes two other transfers drag him to the infirmary. I wince and try to wipe my nose.

I won that fight. I won. I might smile if I could move any part of my face without wanting to be knocked out myself. I sit down and watch Eric grin at the fight. Should I be proud of his approval? I shouldn't, if my parents knew I knocked a guy out for simply provoking me they would give me a double dose of peace-serum. The fights blur together as the blood from my nose slows and I realize that my lip is bleeding too. Four has us do more target practice and dismisses us early. I begin to walk out the door but he stops me, "what was that?"

"What do you mean, Four?"

"What happened in there? I have seen you fight, if you win you let the other man concede. You haven't ever beat a guy senseless."

I take a breath, "he talked about Nicola. So you're right I did beat him senseless."

Four quirks an eyebrow, "he did?"

"Yeah."

Four pats me on the back, "good job then. Although next time, I recommend you try and keep your anger in check."

I nod and walk to the smell of food. I see Nikki with her friends and sit down next to her. "Hey, Nicola."

She looks at me and gasps, "oh, Jax." She dips a napkin in water and presses it to my lip and nose. I wince and she gives me a sad smile. "Did my father let this happen to you?"

"No, I got this from a fight, Eric was there."

"Oh," she frowns and gently wipes blood from my nose, "did you win?"

"I beat him unconscious."

"That doesn't sound like you."

"He provoked me." I bite my cheek as she puts pressure on my nose. I can already feel the bruise near my eyes setting in. Everyone at the table stares at us, mainly me. I look at the small cut on Nicola's head.

"What did he do?"

"He talked about you. So I made sure he wouldn't do that again."

Nicola smiles and kisses my cheek, "it's nice to know you love me enough to beat the crap out of someone."


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the lack of updates, family health crisis. It's taken care of and I'm back on track. :) Thanks for your patience.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

**Jax POV**

My face is throbbing. I pull myself out of bed. My body is heavy as I look in the mirror. Purple bruises cover my nose, my cheeks, and under my eyes. My knuckles are busted, sore scabs crawling over my skin, one of my fingers is swollen and pink. How am I here? Dauntless is opposite of Amity. Everything Dauntless stands for is in direct opposition to what Amity stood for. In Dauntless we fight to settle our differences, in Amity we discuss it. In Dauntless we prove our strength with our fists, in Amity we prove it in our kindness and generosity. In Dauntless we stand up for who we are even if that means causing problems with others, in Amity we stifle who we are to keep peace. Four says that Dauntless wasn't always like this, it was once noble and brave. But I am not in Dauntless of old, I'm here where things are different.

"You look like you're deep in thought."

I turn to see Nicola, arms crossed, leaned against the wall of the bathroom. "What are you doing in here?" Speaking words hurts like touching my nose does. I wince. The faucet lets out a groan before pouring milk colored water onto my hands. "Nicola, you aren't supposed to be with the Transfers. I don't want you to get into trouble."

"Don't worry about me." She pushes herself from the wall and sits on the edge of the sink next to mine. She has make-up on today, she is always beautiful but when she wears make-up she looks like something from another world. Nicola never ceases to astound me with her beauty, never ceases to make me fall in love with her all over again. She looks through my things, "need your razor?"

"Do I? I kind of like the shadow, Nicola."

Nicola shakes her head and hands me a razor and a bottle, "I don't particularly like it. And I'm your girlfriend, so I think that counts for something. You don't have to kiss those lips that are surrounded by hair. And between you and I, I don't like kissing grizzly bears." She winks at me and twists a lock of her hair. "You have training soon?" I press the razor to my skin and watch myself in the mirror. It's time for a haircut.

Nicola shakes her head, "you forgot, huh?"

A dot of warm red blood dribbles down my chin, "forgot what?" Note to self: don't shave near Nicola. She does this thing with her eyes that distracts me. A few beds creak from the room and I set my razor down, "Nicola the other initiates are waking up, sure you don't want to go?"

She rolls her eyes at me and smiles, "nope." Nicola looks up as a few other initiates wander in. I hardly finish brushing my teeth before Nicola is dragging me back to my bed and is searching through my drawers, "this will look nice on you. You want to wear something nice." She glances at me, "you really did forget." She strokes my cheek and smiles, "it's Visiting Day!"

My face goes slack, how could I forget? Visiting Day? Did I forget my parents would be coming to see me? I try to at least smirk, but it turns into a grimace. Nikki hands me some clothes and pushes me to the bathrooms, "take a shower and meet me by the training room. I have to make sure a few things are taken care of." She kisses me on the cheek and leaves me, alone. I don't expect my parent's to show up, but Nicola is so excited for today I will play along. For her. I do everything for her.

* * *

><p>Outside the training room Four stands leaned against the door. I swallow. "Nikki had to figure something out. She asked me to tell you to find your parents and head back here. Apparently they are having lunch with me and Six..." Four looks around and then settles his eyes back on me, "look, if uh, your parents aren't able to make it, you're still welcome to spend the day with us." Four scratches behind his ear with the tip of his knife and hesitates before patting me on the back, "I'll see you later, then." Four clears his throat and walks past me, his silhouette disappearing from the hall. I'm not sure what to make of that whole conversation, but I'm grateful. Even if my own family discards me I have gained a new one. Will my parents even be here?<p>

I stand against the chasm and let my eyes dart around the swarm of colors in the Pit. Black and white, blue, and even a few grey shirts float around hugging teens and a few adults clad in black. No yellow, no red. What else could I expect? After one last glance I turn to look into the chasm, the water is moving fast today. Water sprays onto my boots, I left them, without the slightest indication that I wouldn't come home that day. They had no idea that their son was going to desert them. Do they even miss me? Are they angry? I rest my elbows against the railing and stare at the rocks below.

"Jaxson?" The voice is soft, high.

No one calls me by my full name. As a matter of fact, no one even knows my full name. I turn to see my mother and father standing in front of me, at least they had enough sense to wear the darker red color instead of the yellow. They kind of look like ketchup and mustard I have had here in Dauntless. "Mom? Dad?"

My mother frowns, "your face..." She reaches out to touch the bruises covering my face.

"It's fine Mom. You should see the other guy." Right as the words leave my mouth I wince. Disagreements of any kind would get me a nice shot of peace serum. I clear my throat, "I'm sorry."

My mother shakes her head, "no, dear. This is what you chose, where your heart is. Stay true to your home." She opens her arms to me and pulls me into a hug, "I don't care how embarrassed you are, I need to hug my son." She stands back and sets her hands on my shoulders, "besides the bruising you look healthy. You must be doing a lot of physical work, you are well muscled now." She pinches my cheeks and arms, "I hope you are still eating healthy."

"Mom, I'm fine." I turn to my father, "Dad." He smiles and pulls me into a hug. I am at least a few inches taller than him by now, have I grown much since I left Amity? "Come on, let me show you around." First, I point to the chasm, "this is the chasm, it's my favorite place here. I'm in dorms right now, but I'm sure next year when you guys come to visit I will have an apartment." I show them the Pit, the net, and anything else I can think of before walking to the training room. My parents have stayed quiet, only asking questions a few times. A small, thin figure is standing at the door of the training room, I could identify it anywhere. Nicola sees me and walks towards us, her face highlighted making her cheekbones high, her eyes are a sheer icy blue against whatever girls use to make their eyes darker and bigger. She takes my breath away, I glance at her then to my parents. "Mom, Dad, this...this is Nicola." They haven't ever heard of Nicola, how do I introduce her?

Nicola stands a small distance behind me before offering her hand, "it's nice to meet you." Her voice squeaks, she has paled, is she nervous? I give my best reassuring smile, my parent's will love her. I love her. That's what matters most.

* * *

><p><strong>Nicola POV<strong>

I am meeting Jax's parents. Why was I so excited before and now I'm literally shaking in my boots? Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe they shouldn't meet my parents. Mom and Daddy are Dauntless, not even laid back Dauntless, they have tattoos. Mom has piercings all over her ears and has different streaks of color in her hair. Daddy is just intimidating in general, and now that I see Jax's parents I'm worried. His mother is tall and so is his father, but they are thin and without a single marking. What must they think of me, I'm wearing tight jeans and an off the shoulder shirt so everyone can see my tattoos. My ears have at least four piercings, his mother doesn't even have one. Jax gives me a smile that makes me feel a tad bit better. I clear my throat and shake his parent's hand.

Whatever happened to Nikki, prodigy of Four and Six? Fears no one?

_She's out the door and around the corner. _I chastise my conscience before speaking again, "you can call me Nikki. He is the only person around here who calls me Nicola."

His mother smiles, "I'm Lanie. This is my husband, Robert. I'm glad to know that Jaxson has made friends."

"Jaxson," I glance at Jax. So not only did he forget to mention his full name, he also forgot to tell them I am not his friend, I am his _girlfriend. _I can tell by the alarm in his eyes he knows how much trouble he is going to be in after this. "Come with me, we arranged for you to have lunch and dinner at my parents, the commissary can be a little loud and obnoxious." I walk ahead of Jax and his parents, leading them down the maze of halls in Dauntless. I run up the stairs and open the door to my parent's apartment. "Mom, Daddy, we're here!" Mom is wrestling Noah into his high chair, "Mom let me do it. Can you entertain?" I set Noah on my hip as Jax and his family come in.

Mom smiles, "I'm Six. My husband went out to grab some last minute items. It's nice to-" Mom stops speaking and stares at his parents, "Robert?"

Jax's father stares at mom for a while, an odd silence settling between each of us, "Beatrice?"

Mom smiles and hugs Jax's father, "Robert! I can't believe it's really you! I haven't seen you since Initiation, that was what? Sixteen maybe seventeen years ago." Mom turns to his mother, introduces herself, then hugs her too, "I'm Tris. Robert and I grew up together."

Daddy opens the door with his arms full of bags and sets them down, "you must be Jax's parents." He shakes their hands, "I'm Four."

Mom grins, "Four this is Robert and this is Lanie. Robert and I grew up together as kids...Well you've already met Nikki, that's our son Noah. Make yourselves comfortable, really."

Robert keeps glancing at Daddy, I wonder if they knew each other back in Abnegation, I wonder if he knows why Daddy refuses to visit Abnegation unless it's an emergency, even then Mom always goes with him. Robert scratches his chin, "it's nice to see you again Tris. Last time I saw you, you were covered in bruises."

"Those days are over now. Initiation is the grunt of the physical conflicts. Jax and Nikki are managing fine though. Their rankings are fantastic."

Robert nods, "they rank here?"

Mom nods, "yeah. Nikki is in first place, Jax is in fourth. Both very good ranks to have. Don't worry, we have been taking good care of Jax." Mom sets out some plates and food, "I'm sure the kids told you about how we all got to this point."

Robert shakes his head, "I'm afraid not. I don't know what you are referring to, Tris." Robert smiles and helps Mom set the table as Daddy grabs more chairs. You can take a kid out of Abnegation, but you can never take Abnegation out of the kid.

Mom bites her lip and eyes Jax and I, "I thought they would have told you. Actually, I thought you already knew. We found out only a few weeks in...You see, Jax and Nikki are dating."

I wince, way to go Mom. That's getting off on the right foot. Robert laughs, "no, although I guess I should have caught on when he saw her with that dazed look in his eyes." Can the Amity even be angry? Is that possible. "So you have only been together for a couple of weeks then."

Mom sets down the last plate, "I think maybe we should all discuss this from the beginning. It seems that you and Lanie have been left out of the dark for much longer than you realize."

I mentally face-palm, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.


	12. Chapter 12

**hapter 12**

**Nicola POV**

The small clanking of forks against plates and the steady banter between our parents is the only thing keeping me from letting my head fall into my plate of food. Mom keeps giving me her infamous look of discipline and then gives a soft smile to Jax's parents. Rather, _Jaxson's _parents. That's a topic that will be discussed later. I twirl my fork along the plate, until I hear Mom clear her throat, "let's talk about this then."

Robert nods, "I'm interested to hear about this." Robert sets his glass down. "I am quite interested in how my son met his girlfriend."

Mom looks to Jax and I, "it's your relationship you can tell them."

For once I let out a breath of relief, Jax gives me a glance telling me to go ahead and narrate the story. "We met in class, nothing special really. We kind of just hit it off. That day, we walked each other home. And it just progressed from there."

Jax's mother nods, "and may I ask. How long did this go on?"

"From that point to the Choosing Ceremony." Jax says.

I wish I could literally just shrink and disappear. Out of all the ways to answer that question he chooses the most honest way. I can feel Daddy's stare boring into my skull, Mom's glare heating my cheeks. Daddy drums his fingers along the table, "somehow, I recall you stating that this ended much before the Choosing Ceremony, Nicola Beatrice."

I nearly wince at my full name. "That may or may not have been a twisted statement."

"So you lied to your mother and I?"

I look to Daddy with pleading eyes, _please don't do this in front of his parents. _This is the first impression his parents will get of me, I wanted this to be a nice event. "Not exactly, although I think this could be discussed at a more agreeable time, Daddy?"

I can see the debate in his mind, the hesitation of what to do. "Alright. Fair enough." He looks to Robert, "so there you have it, the two of them have been dating for a long time. I didn't know that you two had no idea it was going on."

Robert shakes his head, "I didn't." He stands and shakes hands with Mom and Daddy, "Six, Four the dinner was lovely. It was very nice to meet you Nicola. We should be heading out, the walk to Amity's gates is long and I don't want to be out in the dark."

Jax stands up, "I'll walk you out the compound. Nicola I will see you tomorrow after training." He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing out the door. I start picking up plates, hoping my parents will let this go. "Nikki, this was going on even after we asked you to end it?"

I set the plates down, "I did. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"You could have gotten yourselves into serious trouble if you got caught." Daddy says.

"Well, we didn't." My fingernails press into my palms, "we are safe and that's all that matters,"

"You lied to us, Nicola." Mom stands in front of me, "you deliberately disobeyed us, you blatantly disregarded what we told you. How do you know no one saw a boy clad in bright yellow or red in _a Dauntless _train car!"

A sharp breath is all it takes for me to lose control, "we didn't get caught Mom! Even if someone saw us they wouldn't know Jax was from Amity."

Mom raises her voice too, "how? You can't be naïve enough to believe that no one could connect the dots!"

"Because we dressed according to the Faction we were in."

Daddy stares at me, his voice always quiet, always in control. "You what?"

I press my fingers to the bridge of my nose, something Daddy does when he is under stress. "When Jax was on the trains he changed into a black t-shirt and jeans. When I visited Amity I dressed in yellow and red." I look at their expressions before going on, "it was a flawless plan. No one ever questioned us, we looked the part. Acted the part. If I wanted to I could have switched to Amity and fit in. Why do you think Jax is here? He catches on fast, he always did." I lower my voice, "we know what we are. Instead of being afraid of it, instead of allowing the fear to define us, control us. We turned it into an advantage."

Mom's jaw hangs open, "did you tell him what you are?" They told me not to tell anyone what my results were, they made me swear not tell anyone. Daddy is pacing the floor, another sign he is stressed and upset.

"Yes, because he is just like me. Both of us, Daddy you always said not to trust anyone who didn't have as much at stake as me. He has as much at stake as I do. We both have the same consequences facing us if we aren't careful. Don't think that because we are young and because we aren't as experienced as you are we can't protect ourselves. At 16, Mom you were ranked first. You had been attacked, threatened, beaten. Daddy you ranked first, you did many things that were not exactly safe to the kind of people we are. You knew the stakes when you did what you did, you knew that what you were doing was dangerous. I'm just following in your footsteps."

"We were stupid teenagers, Nicola! We made plenty of mistakes and regret many of the things we did." Mom says, "we put ourselves in so many near death experiences. Even after you were born, we found ourselves making a string of stupid decisions in regards to our Divergence."

Daddy takes a slow breath, "we will discuss this later. We all have a lot to think about. Be careful, Nicola. If you keep pushing the boundaries like this things are going to backfire."

I raise my chin, "I need to head to the dorms. I have training early tomorrow and Eric is the one running the class." I storm out the apartment before my parents can run after me. I know that when I see them next this whole conversation is going to blow up in my face.

* * *

><p><strong>Jax POV<strong>

My parent's are pissed. Not upset, not frustrated, they are seething. The pads of my fingers absent mindedly press the bruise on my cheek. "I'm glad you two were able to come."

My father turns to me, "what you did was dangerous. I hope you know that."

"I know. We were careful." I chew the inside of my lip.

"Careful? Everything about that was stupid, irrational, and rash." My father's voice lacks anything related to peace.

"You don't understand. No one knew we were from other factions."

It is my mother turn to speak, "I'm sorry, but that's not possible."

"It is if you are smart about it."

"Enlighten me," my mother crosses her arms, "please I am interested to hear this."

"We dressed in each others faction-"

My father's voice cuts me off, "son, I'm not sure if you have heard about this. Because you seem confused as to why this is such a problem." My father takes my arm and drags me out to the tracks, the trains roar making it nearly impossible to hear. "Son, there are people, who are killed for what they are because they are different. We call these people _divergent." _

"I know." My mother covers her mouth and stares at me, "I know, okay. I know what they are, why its dangerous, why I shouldn't even be having this conversation with you." If we were in Amity the way I am speaking to them would get me a nice shot of peace serum and a week in my room. "How do you know about it?"

My father frowns, "I'm one. Amity was the safest place for me to be."

I frown, "you didn't tell me? You didn't try to be somewhere where you fit in?"

"I was more worried about my safety, and I don't regret that. I didn't want to tell you. I was too afraid that you wouldn't understand the severity of it."

My hands slip into my pockets, "that was cowardly of you, Dad. You could have been brave enough to tell me, I had to talk to Nicola about it in order to calm myself down. I was stressed about it, I wanted to keep you and Mom safe. The least you could have done-" I shake my head, "no. It's over now. There's no use in dragging this out. Go on home, you need to get back before it gets dark."

My mother gives me a kiss on the forehead and my father pats me on the back, "I'm in Amity. Don't expect me to act like I'm Dauntless."

I lower my voice, "I expect you to act like a Divergent. You shouldn't cower in the face of fear, you should learn how to use it to your advantage." I turn on my heel and walk from my parents. A feeling of strength on my shoulders, like I stood up for myself as an adult. I make my way to my bed with a smile on my face for officially stepping away from Amity and embracing my life here in Dauntless.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

I lead Jax along the rocks of the chasm to the secret spot only my family knows about. I sit down on the large flat rock that has been claimed as Eaton property. Jax sits beside me and leans back on his hand, "were your parents angry after we left?"

"Yeah," I lean against his shoulder, "I haven't spoken to them today, I know they're angry still. They don't understand why you and I embrace what we are, I mean it is dangerous, but we don't hide behind it. We use it as an advantage."

Jax smiles, "that much is true. Talking with my parents didn't go any smoother. We are dangerous, we both know that, but why not turn it into an advantage? We are careful, we keep ourselves safe and protected, but we manage to bend the rules instead of adhering closely to them." He runs his fingers against my arm and brushes a lock of my hair back, "how was training today?"

I shrug, "Eric was in charge. So fairly bloody. I had to beat one of the other Initiates to a pulp for him, thankfully the girl never had much of a chance here. She only switched for a boyfriend who broke up with her a few days after Initiation began. I think she just wants to leave to the Factionless..." I bite my nails, "I couldn't do that."

"Do what?"

"Leave for the Factionless, just become invisible to the world, not having a family or friends. Just wandering the streets, living off of others charity. I have too much pride for that."

Jax nods, "pride isn't exactly a good thing."

"Doesn't matter," I say, "I am prideful. I acknowledge that flaw and I deal with it." The chasm roars below us, sprinkling cold water to Jax's boots. "Mom says I get my pride from Daddy. I know I don't get it from my grandparents."

Jax shrugs, "didn't they come to visit your parents? Your grandparents, I mean."

"Sometimes, not every year. When I was little they came every year to visit Mom. They have a lot to take care of in Abnegation with tension between them and Erudite growing. My grandfather is on the Council in Abnegation and my grandmother manages the volunteer work."

"And your other grandparents?"

I let out a sigh, "I don't know them. Well, him. My grandmother, Daddy's mom, she is dead. And his father, for whatever reason, doesn't get along with him anymore. I don't even know their names."

Jax frowns, "I'm sorry. My grandparents and Aunt are in Abnegation, sometimes they visit too. Do you know why your father doesn't get along with him?"

I shake my head, "no. I never asked, I can tell it's one of those topics." Jax raises his eyes at me, "there are certain topics that Daddy doesn't discuss. I can tell because he always gets tense and hardly gives me more than a two to three word answer."

Jax frowns and takes my hand, "it's probably for the best." Jax holds me tight to him and intertwines my fingers with his. "We have a free day tomorrow."

"I know, Zeke and Shauna are taking Willow and I somewhere special tomorrow evening. They called it 'Your fun Aunt and Uncle's present to their nieces'.'' I press my palm to my cheek, "I promised to watch Noah tomorrow evening so my parents could go out to dinner. I'm going to have to cancel with one of them."

Jax shakes his head at me, "no, you go with Willow and your aunt and uncle. I can take Noah for the night."

I beam at him, "are you sure? You would do that?"

"He's going to be my pin sized brother in law at some point, right? Might as well get a head start on earning his approval."

The chasm roars and I pull myself closer to Jax and press a soft kiss to his cheek, "he's easy to watch. He's my little angel. Thank you, Jax. I love you."

"I love you too. I have three siblings, it will be a breeze tomorrow."

* * *

><p><strong>Jax POV<strong>

This isn't not a breeze. "He's my little angel, she says. He's easy to watch, she says." I grit my teeth and try to chase down the kid who isn't even tall enough to reach my knee cap. "Noah, hey come back here." He turns to me and laughs before running in another direction. I slow my pace. Yelling didn't work, chasing doesn't work, threatening doesn't work, begging did nothing. What haven't I tried? A cruel smile climbs onto my face, I haven't tried _bribing. _"Noah? You like candy?"

The mess of blonde hair runs past me, "yes." Noah comes to a halt and looks up at me with a grin showing off the three little teeth he possesses. I sit on my heels in front of him and rest my elbows on my knees.

"You like chocolate?" He shakes his mess of curls, "ice-cream?" Another vigorous shake, "if I get you some chocolate ice-cream and we read a book will you be good? Like how you are with Nicola?"

He tries to say her name, but ends up saying something I don't think resembles the English language. I laugh and tousle his hair, "okay, first lets head to the commissary. What book do you want to read?" I pick him up and head out the apartment and to the commissary. When we get into line the little boy who minutes ago was screaming and throwing toys is now the little angel that Nicola spoke of. Was ice-cream all it took to get this kid to be quiet and listen? A finger taps my shoulder. I turn to see Cam, I rattle my head, he is Willow's boyfriend. "Hey."

"Got suckered into babysitting?"

I nod, "yeah. Ice-cream and a book was all it took to get him to act right."

Cam laughs, "I have Willow's little sister. Mind if we crash your party?"

"No." I swipe two bowls of chocolate ice-cream. "Grab some ice-cream and then we are heading to the apartment to read a book." Noah reaches for the little girl on Cam's hip. She is the exact replica of Willow. "Is this your girlfriend Noah?" The kid can understand me because he laughs and puts my face in his hands and stares at me. He whispers something unintelligible to me and let's my face go. Cam laughs and grabs two bowls of ice-cream that are a bright pink color. Not sure how natural that is.

Cam and I try to talk over the baby talk of the two children in our arms. I sit Noah on the couch and look through the books, "any ideas, Noah?"

Noah pushes himself off the couch and looks through them, he picks up one with an explosion in the background and a bloody, dirty character on the front. "Cam? I don't think this is rated for babies."

Cam shrugs, "do you read this a lot, NoNo?"

Noah nods, puts his finger to his lips with a loud 'shhh', and whispers, "reads with Sissys."

Cam nods, "oh you read this with Sissy? Well if Nikki does it then I guess it's okay." Cam and I carry the two babies to Noah's room and set them in the bed. I hand them their bowl of ice-cream before passing Cam the book. "I guess we can take turns, Jax."

I nod and listen as the words of the book flies open.

* * *

><p>"Jax, wake up." I blink my eyes to find Four and Six standing above me. I sit up and find Noah passed out on my arm, Cam sprawled on the floor with Willow's younger sister asleep beside him with her foot on his chest and her hand in his eye. "Sorry, Six. I guess we fell asleep reading to them."<p>

She smiles, "it's fine. It looks like you had fun. Thank you for watching Noah." I pull myself up and shake Cam awake. Six picks up Willow's sister and sets her in the bed next to Noah, "I called Marlene and Uriah. Don't worry about her. You two get some rest, you have training tomorrow."

I nod and so does Cam the two of us dragging each other out the room. Four walks behind us and pats me on the back, "thanks Jax."

We walk to the dorms and I push Cam to his and he turns me to mine. I'm going to be exhausted for training tomorrow. I think of what my brother told me when I first told him about Nicola, his exact words to me where: "_Jaxson, you are going to jump over hoops for this girl. I can tell, that's how much you love her. She's going to say jump and you are going to pull out the trampoline and ask how high. _

I hate to admit it but my brother was right.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for being patient with me! :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

**Nicola POV **

"Everyone up! Get to the tracks in 5!"

My eyes dart open following tracks of bright light in the dorm. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and pull myself up. Flashlights beam in my face, _it's time for Capture the Flag already? _Willow groans below me, I slip off the top and shake her arm, "Willow wake up."

"Why?" She peeks open one eye and glances at the watch she taped to her bed. "Are you crazy!"

I glance around me, wondering how she isn't seeing the flashing lights and movement from the other Initiates. "Capture the flag."

Willow breaks into a wide grin, "why didn't you just say so?" She pulls her hair up, then mine while I toss her the boots she bought a few days ago. We have been waiting weeks for this day to come. I wonder who's team I will be on, will Willow and I even be on the same team? Will Jax and I be on the same team? The whoops and hollers from my fellow initiates has probably awaken every Dauntless in the compound. Our footsteps thunder against the rock and our voices echo all the way to the trains there is no mistaking how excited we are. Uriah jumps onto the train first, followed by the rest of us. A few transfers hop in with us, my eyes rove over them searching for those crisp, warm brown eyes I have come to love so much. After letting my eyes search in the dark, I focus on our laughter that continues until Uriah stands up, "Initiates it is time for our game of Capture the Flag."

Daddy emerges from the darkness, I almost didn't notice he was sitting there, "the game is simple. Each team gets a flag, hide it, protect it. Your goal is to steal the other teams flag and keep yours safe. Simple enough."

Someone, a transfer obviously, begins to ask about the prize for winning but shuts up as he hears everyone's laughter. That's one thing that they should figure out, we don't need a prize for anything that we do. We just need the adrenaline rush of doing it. Daddy clears his throat, everyone goes silent, "listen up. We are going to divide you into two teams. Mine and Uriah's. Go first, Uriah."

Uriah smiles and glances through the crowd, "let's split up the terror twins," a frown settles onto my lips, that's his nickname for Willow and I. "I will take Willow."

Daddy smiles, "Nikki you're with me."

Uriah takes someone else from my initiate class and Daddy calls for someone in the transfers. Uriah calls Jax, we get Cam. The rest of the initiates are divided evenly between us. Our team full of the thin and scraggly initiates, me included. Uriah's with taller, more robust members. We jump off the train first and disappear from view. I turn to Daddy, "so what's the plan, Four?" I learned my first day of Initiation that whenever Daddy is in charge of something involved with Initiation it's safer to call him Four. The last thing I need is for Eric to start trouble over the idea of favoritism.

He hands me the flag, "I'm not in charge, the point is for you to figure out what you're going to do as a team. Now Uriah and his team will be jumping off in a few minutes. They know where we got off, so I recommend we don't just sit here."

We move forward in the darkness, glass cracking beneath our boots. I heard that every since Mom's game of Capture the Flag no one really uses flashlights anymore. It was just more dauntless to walk around in the dark. Our groups gather around the carousel and we stare at the bright green flag in my hands. Everyone looks at me expectantly, slowly I remember that my parents are Dauntless prodigies, of course they are looking to me. "Are we allowed to camouflage the flag, Four?"

Daddy scratches behind his ear, "I don't think its against the rules."

"Then let's camouflage the flag. I want you guys to camouflage the flag and hide it. Two of you stay to protect it with Four. The other two need to hit them from the back. Wait for my call." After explaining my signal, I glance at a scrawny little initiate from the transfers who looks about as old as I'm sure I look to other people. Small, thin, young, innocent. "You, come with me. We are going to get the other teams flag."

"Me?" Her voice is small and tight.

"Yeah," I give her a soft clap on the shoulder, "two small people are more likely to sneak past enemy lines. Plus I know Uriah and Willow, he is going to expect us to sneak up on him and take the flag. Which means he is going to heavily guard his back and only leave a few guards to watch the front." I smile at Daddy, he understands what I mean. Uriah will be expecting me to do what him and my parents did when he was an Initiate. Willow will expect me to do that because we had decided years ago that if we would recreate our parents game, assuming we would be on the same team. Sometimes nostalgia isn't a good thing. I put the gun strap over my shoulder and walk with the transfer who is about as tall as me. "I'm Nikki."

"Oh." She glances at her feet, "I'm Callie Black, well it used to be Callista, but its Callie now."

"My full name is Nicola." We cut through some trees and I glance at them, "come on, we are climbing one." I would climb the Ferris Wheel, but I know for a fact how dangerous that is. I've heard the story. My boot fits into a limb and I pull myself up, "you coming?"

Callie looks up at me and pushes her hair behind her ear, "um, okay." She follows my lead up the tree, "why did you ask me to come with you?"

"Honestly?" I place my hand in the fork of the tree and pull myself up, "you remind me a lot of myself. Maybe if I grew up in a different place. How's initiation?"

"I'm surviving." She sighs, "Like I'm doing okay, I guess. Not ranked very high at all. Four tries to help however he can, but I'm so small. Dauntless...It's definitely not like home. The people here say whatever is on their mind, they don't really care about being nice or polite. At the same time it's freeing too, like I can make real friends here. I can be myself. What are you ranked?"

"Currently, first place. If you need help let me know, we are the same size and roughly the same stature. You have some more curve than I do. And trust whatever my dad tells you, he knows what he's talking about. What faction did you transfer from?"

"Who's your father?" Callie takes a deep breath, "I transferred from Abnegation."

"You didn't know?" I thought everyone knew, "Four is my dad...My Mom's parents are in Abnegation." I say, this girl can't be a threat to me. That's obvious now, by how shy she is. Besides its no secret that my family has ties in other Factions. "Perhaps you knew them."

She stays quiet and stares at me, "maybe, what's their name?"

"Natalie and Andrew Prior."

Callie clears her throat, "I know them...So Four is your dad?"

"Yes, but whenever he is training the initiates and the Dauntless-born are with him, I call him Four. When we get back to the compound you should come eat with us. It will be fun, I promise."

Thanks, I don't have many friends here. I take that back I don't have any. No one really notices the small Abnegation transfer." She smiles for the first time and I realize she has freckles the same shade of red as her hair. I stand tall and see some of the figures moving in the moonlight. Uriah has more defense concentrated in the back, Willow standing with him waiting for our attack. Their flag sitting next to the figure I could tell from anywhere, Jax.

A smile curls onto my lips. "You any good with that gun?"

"What?" She looks at the strap over her chest, "I can hit the target from a good distance back. Why?"

"I have a plan." I give my signal and climb down the tree and aim my gun, "okay we will take out those two protecting Jax and the flag. I will distract Jax so don't worry about that, while he is distracted get the flag and give the loudest victory cry you can manage."

"Why are you letting me take the flag?"

I think back to Mom telling me about letting Christina take the flag and smile, "I've already proven myself. I'm going to let someone else get the chance." Callie smiles and aims her gun, we move through the darkness and train our sights on the two initiates looking out into the forest. I nod to her and hold up my hand, "on my count." I whisper. My hand is still as I count, one, two, three. We shoot at the same time hitting each initiate square in the chest and leaving them bickering between each other. Jax's head whips towards us and he draws his weapon. I glance at Callie and motion for her to stay hidden behind the trees. I walk out and keep my gun trained on Jax, "hey, sweetheart." I smile.

"Nicola, you wouldn't shoot your boyfriend would you?"

"You wouldn't shoot your girlfriend would you?"

He frowns, "depends on if you're going to try and get this flag from me."

"No, I actually just wanted to scout out what was happening." I give him a soft smile, "quick kiss and then I have to go report back to my team."

He eyes me suspiciously before looking out at the trees, "okay. One quick kiss and we tell no one about this. Okay?"

I walk towards him and set my gun back against my back and pull him to me, I wrap my hands around his neck and let one of my hands motion for Callie to go ahead. Jax looks around as he hears the slight rustle from the trees, I quickly press my lips to his and don't stop for air until I hear Callie whoop in victory. I pull away from Jax who looks dazed for a moment and then gives me a frown.

I wink, "thanks for your cooperation, Jax."

"That's not fair."

My team surrounds Callie and lift her high into the air, Jax looks back to see Callie and smiles, "at least she was the one to get it." He wraps his arm around me and I look back to see Daddy standing against the shadows without a speck of paint on him. He gives me a smile and a nod. I did the right thing.

* * *

><p>When we all pile into the train car, I glance at Daddy his arms open, almost his entire body hanging outside the train car. He seems so at peace and calm, I shift my glance to the gun sitting in my lap and an idea comes to me. I wait for him to step back and get ready to sit next to Uriah when I shoot hitting him in the shoulder. He turns around and I can't contain the laughter bubbling from my mouth. I shoot again this time hitting him in the abdomen. I can tell he isn't amused, it only makes me laugh harder. A powerful punch to my shoulder and wet foul smelling spray hits my face. The pads of my fingers wipe up the bright pink paint on me. I stare at Daddy who now has his own smile on his face.<p>

I can't imagine living any other life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Nicola POV**

The back of my hair is clumped with neon paint, my entire body sore from Capture the Flag, but I feel as free as ever. For tonight, I didn't have to think about how upset my parents are with me or how my divergence is causing a rift between my family and I. We walk into the dinning hall, Willow talking in my ear while I eat a plate of Dauntless cake and make my way to the table next to an untamed mass of red hair next to me, "could I sit with you?"

I turn to Callie, "sure." I smile at her, "you did good today. "

Callie shakes her head, "I really didn't do much except follow orders.I don't much like the attention. "

Just like an Abnegation to down play their achievements. "well, everyone else is giving you the attention you deserve. So tell me how's life in Abnegation? "

"Different, very different. My mother she didn't want me to go, but I had to..." Callie says so quietly I almost don't hear her. "I had to get out of the there. "

"Would you like to walk with me?" I can see from her slight frown to her glassy eyes that her old home has some negative attachments.

Callie shakes her head before throwing away her hardly touched plate and giving me a shaky smile."No, I just need to get some rest."

**Callie POV**

When Four announces that we will begin the next stage of training, almost nothing can keep my stomach from rolling. I am nearly at the bottom of initiation, ranking 7th out of ten initiates. The three below me are transfers who lost to lower ranking opponents who finally figured out how to win fights. If it weren't for that I would be ranking tenth. Thank heavens we don't get kicked out to the Factionless anymore. He talks about preparing us for the third stage of initiation, Four moves across the floor and crosses his arms, I wince. Sometimes, he reminds me of my father, not in his demeanor so much as in some of his looks. He has the same shoulders and is a tad taller, which honestly is no reason to tie him to my father, since most of the boys here are tall and have broad shoulders. For some reason though I put the two together. I'm not afraid of Four however, I only wince when a sound or movement dredges up a memory. I focus back on Four, he glance at my side of the room, "follow me."

My back slumps against the wall while I watch initiate after initiate disappear down the corridor of darkness illuminated by blue lights hanging above us. While everyone else talks with each other, showing off their tattoos and piercings. Instead I just sit counting the seconds that tick by and will my fear and memories away. Four calls my name; my knees ready to buckle beneath me as I walk behind him. He opens a large door and it clings shut behind me, he ushers me to a seat eerily similar to the one I was in for the altitude test. My stomach begins to flip as I rest back into the seat. Four gives me a half smirk, "don't pass out Callie. I'm going to put you in a simulation that's meant to teach you how to control your fears."

"My fears?" Terror courses through my veins at the thought of facing what I have only just escaped. How Dauntless is that? Running away from my fears.

"Not exactly _your _fears, but something like it." Without another word he taps the needle and sets it into my neck. I blink a few times as my world is drowned into darkness. I'm in a room, a simple room much like one from my home in Abnegation. At first I don't see anything, but out of the corner of my eye I see a shadow, the shadow never emerges from the wall but I know exactly who it is. Four may not even understand that the shadow is a person but I do, I know. I know that shadow isn't a blob of darkness, but the one person I fear most. The simulation won't show me my real fear, my father, however it will show my fear of not being in control. My fear of helplessness. The fear I've lived with every day of my wretched life. There is no warning when something pierces my back and digs into my skin, I try to pull away but I look to see chains binding my wrists to the ground. I struggle against them as another lash rips across my back. I keep fighting the pain until a dark sinister voice whispers in my ears, "for your own good."

After that darkness swallows me.

I gasp and sit up, hands clammy, a cold sweat upon my forehead, my lips quivering. My eyes avoid Four, not wanting to see his disapproval, or his pity. I don't know which is worse."Callie?"

I slowly raise my eyes to see Four himself is paler than normal, a wild look in his eye. "Yes." I struggle to keep my voice steady.

"Who's you're father? In Abnegation?" He swallows loudly and rocks back and forth.

"Is it important?" I snap and look at the tips of my grey sneakers.

Four scowls, "more so than you think. Who are your parents back in Abnegation?"

"Why? Aren't we supposed to leave our old life behind? Faction before blood?"

Four rolls his eyes, "I won't tell anyone, just answer my question. Please."

After a moment of deliberation I answer. "My mother's name is Wendy," I twist my fingers together, "and my father is Ma-"

I'm cut off by Four who has gotten paler, "Marcus Eaton."

I gasp before letting an uncomfortable silence settle between us, "how'd you know?" I chew at my lip.

"How is this even possible?" Four starts pacing back and forth, "he must be in his fifties by now. I'm 34...he was 22. So he's what? About-"

Now its my turn to cut him off, "56 almost 57." I see his confusion, "my mother is nearly about two years younger, she is 54. They're older I know. She was a bit of an old maid, married at 38. I was born a year later, matter of fact just barely turned 16." I begin to ramble hoping to avoid talking about my father. How ever Four clears his throat and I stop speaking. "Why does it matter?" I whisper.

"Why is your last name Black instead of Eaton?"

My voice drops, "I didn't want to be associated with them. I took the last name of my neighbor, they were the kind of family I wanted to grow up in. Besides, black is Dauntless color, made sense. Why?"

Four disregards my question. "Callie, meet me at the chasm around eleven tonight. Okay? Don't tell anyone where you're going."

I stare at him, "what?"

"Don't worry my wife is coming with us, but there's something I need to tell you. So be there at eleven okay?"

"O-okay." I wipe the last lingering tears from under my eyes and scoot out the chair, "Am I free to go?"

Four nods before opening the back door and letting me out into the dark corridors of the place I now call home. What could my instructor possibly have to tell me? Better yet why in the world was he so interested in my family in Abnegation? I walk back to then dorm and collapse into bed, ignoring the loud conversations of the other intiaites. It only takes a moment for sleep to take over my mind and torture me with the horrific memories of my father.

_Marcus throws the door to my room open and storms in, "what is this?" I am supposed to have the evening to think, to make my decision tomorrow._

_He puts a small yellow ribbon in my face, "I found it on the floor of your bathroom, what is it? Do you have any explanation, Callista?" I had found it while walking home from school, an Amity must have left it lying around, I knew it was stupid of me, but the color was so beautiful, so different from the grey. I had it in my hands before I could realize what I had done. It must have slipped out my back pocket or something while I was cleaning my bathroom._

_I open my mouth to respond before his eyes, the eye of a snake, bore into me. I crawl into the corner of my bed, I know that look. I know it all too well, Marcus has that going in his eye, the one that terrifies me more than anything. "Callista, this is for your own good." _

_I begin to shake, I know what will happen next, I will be beaten, my mother will run in pleading with Marcus to stop, he will push her away and like the weak woman she is, she will nod and give me her look of apology before disappearing out the room where she will be chastised and beg not to be beaten herself. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Marcus makes me stand up and I know the lashes will come soon enough. I can't do this not today, not with so much on my mind. I try to come up with some reason to escape this fate, my back is still so sore from my last beating, I'm not sure I can handle much more.I throw my hands over my face before I can be struck, "father, my choosing tomorrow!" _

_His hand stops midair, his anger beginning to die down, he draws his hand back to himself. We stand there for a long time, staring at a each other, him finding his words, me praying that he wI'll leave me be. Marcus clears his throat, "I suppose you have a point. Callista think about the consequences of leaving your mother and I. I will leave you be, since you need to consider how to act when you are congratulated by the other Abnegation tomorrow. Since you will be thinking all night, you will skip dinner, it will give you more time." The that beneath his words are not lost on me so I nod my head vigorously._

_He turns to leave as I release a silent breath of relief, but snaps back around to me, "how did your test go?"_

_I swallow the lump in my throat, "just as you taught me, exactly as you planned."_

_"And your results?"_

_"Abnegation as expected." I say._

_Marcus lips curl back into a cruel and cold smile, "excellent." He sits the door behind him and I slump into my pillow as the door locks, trapping me in my room to for the night. His threat to stay in Abnegation is not lost on me. However, I will not make the mistake of staying here, I don't know where I will switch. I won't go to Amity, they work to closely with the Abnegation. Much to closely. Marcus would find a way to exact his revenge for making him the talk of Abnegation. I can't go to Candor, they use truth serum which will most definitely lead to questions about my father, a 'noble' leader of Abnegation. And I don't need my past to be hanging over my head for the rest of my life. There's Erudite, but I wouldn't pass initiation there, they do t take kindly to any Abnegation and while it was once considered a feat to steal a young Abnegation to Erudite, now its a matter of disrespect for one to switch there. An Abnegation hasn't transfered to Erudite in about ten years._

_That leaves Dauntless._

_I have admired them, although I don't know if I would survive there. I don't know if I would like it there. But they would teach me how to fight, and if I ever came against Marcus again I would be able to stand up to him. To excersise my power. I won't stay here though, I will go live with the Factionless before I spend another night here in this house. I stare at the wall and crawl into my bed, but not before I tie the yellow ribbon around my ankle and setting this blue vase I found in the closet downstairs hidden in a box on the table._

_I will never be returning here, and I hope Marcus remembers my last act of defiance forever._

Snoring wakes me up. I climb out of bed and check the wristwatch I his under my pillow, if I leave now I will be on time to meet Four and Six at the chasm. With one swift glance across the room, I make my way out to the chasm and see the sillhouetes of my instructor and his wife. I move quickly hoping not to get the attention of the people still out in the pit, drinking and partying. Six waves to me but her usual smile is non existent, "Callie."

"Six." I nod to her and look to Four, "Four."

Four nods, "follow me." Six and I walk along side him towards the room I learned is were we are put through our fear explains how it works as he takes out three needles, "Callie I'm taking you into my fear landscape so you can see who I am and where I'm from. Once you find out it may change everything." Six presses the needle into Four's neck and then mine before putting it in own. She takes Four's hand.

Wind blows my hair back and the floor below me expands upwards, I'm on edge of a building. Four and Six stand together looking down, Six turns to me with excitement in her eyes, "on three." By the time she says two I have already pounced off the edge of the building and let my laughter bubble into the air. I slam into the ground and cough a few times as the other two hit the ground. I dust myself off and try to stand as a wooden slat slams into my back. I gasp and am pressed into Six's leg and shoulder. My breathing picks up, this is like being take in closet, I shut my eyes and begin to count a ritual I've had for years. The wood creaks and groans, roughly grinding against my arms. I count faster, begging for this to end, hoping to force out the memories of being trapped in a closet gasping for air from the sliver of space between the floor and the door. Why can't Four hurry up and move past this fear? It's obvious him and Six have been in here before. After a few more seconds the box breaks open. I stand up and suck in as much cold fresh air as I can, rubbing the pads of my fingers along my neck. Four frowns and looks at a table with a woman, Six turns my back to the woman, "you don't need to see this. It's not important." She says before leaving me staring into the blank open space. I hear a gunshot ring behind me and Six pulls me around, the woman's body fades away as Four gives me a grim nod.

"Pay attention Callie, this is where things get important."

Walls appear from the ground, the color a dull soft grey. As the walls appear I realize this is what my bed room looks like back home, down to the little knick in my bed post that has been there since as long as I can remember. Did they switch needles or something? I shouldn't be here in this room, its Four's fears. My confusion begins and ends quickly as a figure approaches us. His eyes are more venomous than I re!e!mber, they must have gotten the needles switched. Marcus clawed hand reaches for the belt, my throat tightens, my body goes rigid. "This is for your own good." The words echo around my head as a circle of Marcuses spreads around us. I look out the corner of my eye to see Four wound as tightly as me. Why? Marcus draws his hand back and I drop to my knees covering my face and trying to keep myself from sobbing. Six let's Four step forward and yank the belt free while she coaxes me off the ground. Once I look up we are back in the fear landscape room. I dust myself off and wipe the tears that slipped my notice.

"Was that my fear landscape?" I ask.

Four shakes his head, "it was mine."

"That's it? Only fou-" the words die on my lips, "oh...why was my father in yours? Why were you in my room?"

"That's the room you grew up in?" He asks.

I nod, "an exact replica, down to the knick in the bed post its been there forever."

"I put that there, when I was small. An accident really, while I was a kid, I don't remember what I used but I managed to knick the bed post."

My hands for into my pockets easily, "which goes back to my first question. How do you know my father?"

Four chuckles, "you haven't put it together?" Four chews his lip, "Marcus Eaton is my father. Well, our father I guess."

My jaw drops, "you're... you're Tobias? You're the son who left to Dauntless.''

Tobias nods, "took you long enough."

I shake my head, "well I only heard about you a few times, from my mother. She said Marcus had been married before he married her, but his wife died. His son Tobias, you, left him for Dauntless. Although no one ever spoke of you so it was assumed you either died or never passed initiation . I guess I never thought to wonder if you just changed your name...I used to dream about you, you know?"

Six smiles slightly, "you did?" She looks at Tobias with a beaming smile, "call me Tris by the way."

I nod, "okay...Tobias, when I was little I used to dream my brother would save me from Marcus...I guess in a way you have."

Tobias frowns, "I had heard he remarried, but I had no clue he would have another child."

"Well, I wasn't exactly a planned arrival. So you're my brother?"

Tobias nods, "I guess so." He offers his hand to me and I hesitantly shake it. "Why don't we head down to the chasm I think we have many questions for each other."

Tris takes my arm and smiles, "I've always wanted a sister in law, I'm actually pretty excited!"


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry for the lack of updates, I did not lose interst in this story, I simply was suffering from writer's block and just tok a leave of absence. I am really busy so I kind of forgot to update. Sorry! **

**Chapter 16**

**Callie POV**

Tobias leads the three of us towards the chasm, I follow his footsteps as he easily moves from rock to rock. I have a brother. I can't believe I found my brother, will he accept me? Judging by the embrace from Six, now it's Tris, I will be accepted into this family. I stare at the back of Tobias, he has our father's height and broad shoulders. However, his deep blue eyes must come from whoever his mother was. Tobias sits on a flat rock with the chasm roaring beneath him, Tris slides in beside him and pats the space beside her. I sit down and let my feet dangle over the water, "so...you're my brother."

"I guess so.'' Tobias sits up and frowns, "look Callie, you asked me if I accidentally entered your fear landscape, why?"

I wince, "it was when we were trapped in to the box, Marcus he...he would lock me in the closet whenever I did something selfish."

Tobias nods solemnly, "I remember. Did you ever stand up to him? Where you ever braver than me?"

"Once, but I don't know if it counts. The night before my Choosing Ceremony, I...there was this blue vase in the closet downstairs, it was tucked in a box buried beneath some coats. It was the closet that Marcus always locked me in. It was this beautiful blue vase that was so different. So opposite the grey around me in Abnegation. I snuck it into my room while he was gone for a council meeting and my mother was out volunteering. I hid it in a small chest beneath my bed that has been there forever. When I woke up to leave for my Choosing I took it out the chest and set it on my dresser. Then I left, I knew I wouldn't return. I wanted to make sure he knew I wouldn't let him control me. Not any more."

Tobias graces me with a small smile, "I did the same thing before my Choosing Ceremony. I guess it's in our blood. Callie, look-"

"Call me Callista, please. It's nice for me to hear my name again." I run my hand through my tangled ginger hair, "I guess we don't look anything alike, huh?"

Tris leans forward and stares between us, "you have the same nose and eye shape. Oh, and you have the same smile." She stands up after exchanging a few looks with Tobias. "I am going to head home and relieve the baby sitter. You two catch up. Tobias have your sister in her dorm at a decent hour. Tris lean figure disappears after a few moments and I lean on my elbows before speaking.

"Can I ask you a question, Tobias? It's aboout my aptitude test." I ask, he nods hesitantly and I take a slow breath. "Did Marcus...did he prepare you for the aptitude test?"

"Yes. He did." He shifts to look at me, "Callista what was your aptitude?"

I suck in a breath, could he be like me? "It was Abnegation."

"So was mine. But you were aware, weren't you?"

"I was...is that bad? Marcus he never explained anything to me, he just made it very clear that if I got anything outside of Abnegation I would be killed for it. I was going to ignore it until my mother also warned me. That's when I knew it was vital that I follow the rules and follow his directions."

"It means you fit into multiple factions. It's," Tobias lowers his voice, "it's called Divergent. It is dangerous, Marcus wasn't over exaggerating that one. Callista, your ranking is low right now."

A warm blush crawls along my cheek, "I know. I don't kicked out right?"

"No, not anymore. However the higher you rank the better job you get. At your current ranking they will send you out to the fence. You have a chance to move up if you can manage to excel in the fear simulations...I think you should train with Nikki."

"Nikki, as in Nicola your daughter?" Tobias nods as I smile to myself. "She is ranked first, right?" He nods again and I take a few breaths, "yeah, if you think it will help...Does Marcus ever come here? On Visting Day?"

"No, he isn't stupid enough to come to Dauntless. Callista don't worry I am going to protect you. It's getting kind of late, lets get you back to your dorm. I'm still your instructor and I still have to wake you up early. Callista I want you to stay close to Jax and any of his friends, okay?"

"Jax? As in Nikki's boyfriend, Jax?" I smile as Tobias growls and his face settles into a deep scowl.

"Yeah. He is a good kid and he stays away from the kids in your intiate class who are a threat to you. And more than anything stay far away from Eric. If he finds out we are related he will make your intiation unbearable." Tobias offers me his hand and pulls me up. He stands along the flat rock and looks down on me, while he is taller than me he isn't more than a head above. "Goodnight, Callista. I hope you know how glad I am to have you in my life now."

"Yeah, I am kind of psyched to have an older brother." I take a breath before throwing my arms around Tobias' waist and collapse my head into his shoulder. Before I have time to think I begin to cry. The tears come hot and fast, blurring my vision and soaking the shoulder I am crying into. I gasp for breath, pressing my forehead to the thick muscle of my brother. I claw at him; pulling fistfuls of his shirt before I pound my fists to his chest. I start to hiccup from the sobs that rack my body. Tobias raps his arms around me, but he never speaks. I begin to calm down and look up to him with tears streaming down my cheeks, "I'm sorry...It all just kind of hit me. Marcus, you, switching, all of it."

"We should head back, you still have to go thorugh your training tomorrow. Come on, let's head to the dorms." Tobias slings his arm around my shoulders and rufles my hair, "if you ever need to talk Callista you can come talk to me. Okay?"

"Okay." I walk with Tobias to the dorms and give him one last hug before eading inside and crashing into my bunk.

It's the first time I have slept all night without a nightmare.

(Line Break)

Someone shakes my shoulder and I wake up a few minutes before I need to be in the training room. I throw my hair up into a ponytail before running past the commissary to the hallway for fear simulations. The Dauntless-Borns are already lined up against the wall and most of my class is iling in. I look around for a spot to sit and after shifting my gaze I sit down beside one of the transgers who isn't very social. I draw my knees to my chin and focus on controlling my breathing for this upcoming fear simulation. Teens swarm around me and I drown out my focus in the murmurs of my fellow intiates, the door swings open and Tobias surveys the hall. "Callie, you're up first."

I take a deep breath and pull myself up, I walk past everyone in the hall and pass the door way into the room. Tobias gives me a reassuring smile, "it will be okay. Just focus on calming your breathing."

I sit into the seat and wait for the needle to plunge into my neck. I close my eyes slowly before my world drowns out.

When I open my eyes I am in the Factionless. A small boy from Abnegation tugs on my sleeve, I look down and he takes my hand and guides me deeper into the city. The buildings grow taller and the sky darkens with each step, "where are we going?"

The boy doesn't answer me and instead slows his pace and darts into a alley. I run after him and when I turn to see where I have wondered off to, I find myself encapsulated in darkness. What is this fear? White and red eyes appear around me, claws tear at my body and face, I gasp and throw punches and kicks to my attackers. with each hit more come to attac kme. Who is this why are they here?

The Unknown. I am afraid of being trapped in the unknown with no ability to understand who or why. The claws come harder, snarls fill my ears, teeth nash at me. I begin to hyperventilate.

Breathe.

I take a breath. In. Out. Repeat.

After a few minutes I open my eyes, Tobias smiles at me, "good job. Fastest time yet."

"Really?" I ask, "it wasn't that scary."

"That's because you knew what was happening, Callie. You will get better as time goes on."

I head out the room satisfied with my performance today, my fears are past me now. I wonder if I will have four fears like my brother. If I have conquered some of my fears.

Tobias stops me as I exit, "hey, Callista?"

I nod, "yeah?"

"You belong in Dauntless."


End file.
